Intimacy: Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked...

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 16:25 - United States - Iowa City

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 717

You deserved it 18 644

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Same thing different taste

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 564

You deserved it 305

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 314

You deserved it 7 527

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 045

You deserved it 18 790

By Anonymous - 30/06/2019 16:06

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 788

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 133

You deserved it 4 527

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 908

You deserved it 346

Gimme the D

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 11:00 - United States - Citrus Heights

Today, I wanted to have sex with my boyfriend, but he kept falling asleep while I was giving him a handjob. Ugh, no sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 260

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 108

You deserved it 74 047

Pure class

By DanceOnTheEdge - 20/07/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my boyfriend. While he was driving, I held out my hand as an offer for him to hold it. Instead, he grabs me by the wrist and shoves my hand down his pants. Lovely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 699

You deserved it 19 387

Anticlimax

By Deidle-dee - 26/10/2010 16:37 - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 997

You deserved it 4 703

Tpracingkg 15

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:36

Practice makes perfect

spekledworf 18

Thursday 4 July 2013 0:39

I hope it wasn't in public. I work at a movie theater and have walked in on worse than handjobs. We don't appreciate it.

Comments

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:45

what were you expected without lubrication? I standing ovation? #fail

CharresBarkrey 15

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:17

#Thisisnttwitter. #thesedontworkhere

therealafroninga 10

Thursday 4 July 2013 8:24

But everyone hashtags random numbers... I don't get it.

therealafroninga 10

Thursday 4 July 2013 8:27

Before everyone down votes me to china, I'm joking.

ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Thursday 4 July 2013 12:36

Uncircumcised males are more than capable of reaching ****** without lube. I've slept with one.

therealafroninga 10

Thursday 4 July 2013 17:34

Damn you religion, you took my chance at sex without lube!!!

FiFiLovee 26

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:48

Well isn't the excitement of being in public and the chance of being caught what draws couples to become, for a lack of a better phrase, hot and bothered? I mean c'mon, live a little. Don't act like you've never wanted to try it, if not have actually done it before. -.- OP just needs a little practice. :) Which, In my opinion, the BF should have been a little patient, taken her home, and taught her lmao

LuckBeNimble 19

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:49

not everyone is an exhibitionist. see #3 and #4.

Spark_Slicker 19

Thursday 4 July 2013 0:07

And what about considering the people around you who usually happen to not want to witness people performing sexual acts?

TheDrifter 23

Thursday 4 July 2013 0:30

Especially when some Dick fires a wad at the back of their head.

mmaflake 19

Thursday 4 July 2013 0:40

What about the people that do want to see this? They're out there.

becka2s 14

Thursday 4 July 2013 3:49

Well said! #13

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 4 July 2013 5:01

This definitely spoiled "Muppets From Space" for me.

Iceman225 11

Thursday 4 July 2013 6:18

Haha, thedrifter, winning pun.

Lomus 24

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:48

That is horrible. Not in public, really. YDI.

Iamevil123 16

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:35

I believe there is a button you should be clicking instead of commenting what the button allows you to express.

CharresBarkrey 15

Thursday 4 July 2013 0:17

Holy shit, there's a 'This is horrible. Not in public, really' button now?!

Cynical_1 26

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:49

He sounds pretty ungrateful! He shouldn't take for granted that he has a girl that will do things like that with him. If I were you I would make him work a little harder for your attention. Maybe then he will appreciate it more. I'd probably also make an off-hand comment about needing to use his own hand more often if he doesn't.

stoych 19

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:49

Everyone's gotta learn! Perhaps you should remind him of this and also that your next boyfriend might be a little more compensating and show you how it's done without being a total twat about it....

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:51

Should have added some of that butter from the popcorn!

gordogirls 4

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:54

Hahahaha!

avapaige1234 19

Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:55

I've had it worse, though. My bf just laughed at me while I was at an attempt to give him a ********. Still, FYL

perdix 29

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:02

I still don't get the point of the hand job. If the movie is so boring that he needs that for entertainment, you might as well blow off the next few minutes of the show and suck him off. Who picked the shitty movie anyways?

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:20

Ha! Sounds like you would purposely choose this week's Rotten Tomato pick, in hopes of that treat. You can lure her in with promises of ju-ju beans!

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:21

That's an expensive way to go about getting ********, Enslaved!

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:25

You're right, Pleonasm! If you think those ticket prices will rape you, just wait 'til you get to the concession stand! :P

perdix 29

Thursday 4 July 2013 0:36

I dunno. If I got jerked around by the movie studio with a trailer that showed the only good 30 seconds of the movie, I don't think I'd be in the mood to get jerked around literally. On the other hand, if the movies sucks, . . .