Health: Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with...

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By anonymous - 09/10/2011 01:20 - Australia

Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 290

You deserved it 27 606

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Same thing different taste

By looke27 - 13/11/2010 07:21 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 314

You deserved it 37 618

Stop assuming the worst!

By notbeeatingmywife - 21/08/2022 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 884

You deserved it 95

By taiannalynn5 - 02/03/2011 23:43

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the bed, when he started to tickle me. I tried to pull away but he pushed me back down. I ended up hitting my eye on the corner of the nightstand. His comment was "this is why you shouldn't struggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 031

You deserved it 7 782

How d'you like them apples?

By Anonymous - 29/10/2022 14:00

Today, after my girlfriend played a prank on me a few days ago, I thought she’d be a good sport about me playing one back. Turns out she’s not a good sport. I’m now single, with black bruises on my ribs. I think one might even be broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 213

Thirst trap

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 07:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were play-wrestling on the couch. I got thirsty, so I got up and grabbed a metal water bottle and drank out of it. He tried to playfully touch it and spill water on me, but instead hit it hard enough to where it slammed my mouth, chipped my tooth, and cut open my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 4 280

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 22:50 - France

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 118

You deserved it 3 666

By DHarman - 25/05/2010 23:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 652

You deserved it 4 072

By Anonymous - 08/02/2017 04:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 955

You deserved it 1 099

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 049

You deserved it 7 513

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 377

You deserved it 266

evilscorpi 29

Sunday 9 October 2011 9:08

better start heading to the gym more often

CHOMP3R 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 9:19

Never underestimate a woman.(:

Comments

WadeWilson_fml 6

Sunday 9 October 2011 18:46

Lmao I would giggle too. You're a wuss.

doogy15 11

Sunday 9 October 2011 19:46

Man up

radiocaf 29

Sunday 9 October 2011 20:24

Story of my life. bite marks and pinches too. oh and sore testicles.

bubo_fml 10

Sunday 9 October 2011 20:41

It's OK...At least you won't ever have to worry about getting racked in the balls...Apparently, your girlfriend wears them!

FrankHotpants 31

Sunday 9 October 2011 20:46

The only way to redeem yourself now is to get into an epic movie fight with a couple dudes.

100Sparkel 0

Sunday 9 October 2011 20:59

That's how you do it!!!

rubyliu8420 7

Sunday 9 October 2011 22:42

what a f***ing pussy!!!

BjgUsername 12

Sunday 9 October 2011 23:05

And you'll tell your friends it was a bar fight that you won bc ur a manly man

hannahcorrine 0

Monday 10 October 2011 0:12

Keeper

Evening_Odds 5

Monday 10 October 2011 0:13

haha she is definitely a keeper. that's nothing to be ashamed of :]

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The Top

Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 147

Today, I went to the grocery store and saw a guy I thought I recognized. I walked up to him and said, “Hey, are you so-and-so from high school?” He looked at me blankly and said, “Nope, don’t know you.” To cover up my embarrassment, I blurted out, “Well, you should! I was the funniest person in our class!” He stared at me for a second before replying, “OK, I’m calling security.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 615

The Top

Today, feeling festive, I sent everyone on my phone's contact list a holiday message. Almost everyone replied back "who's this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 4 803

Today, my wife served me with divorce papers that included an accusation that I haven’t given her a decent orgasm since 1996. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 631

You deserved it 781

Siblings know the struggle.

I agree, your life sucks 284

You deserved it 72

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 477

You deserved it 713

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 061

You deserved it 17 859

Today, I realized I could make more money being on welfare than I can at my current job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 541

You deserved it 2 279