Intimacy: Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden,...

By Girl - 19/08/2009 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing catch with my 6 year old cousin in the garden, when he demanded a piggy back. Trying to be the good cousin, I did so and he soon shouts "Run! Run!" so I do so. Suddenly he shouts "STOP! My winky's gone pointy". I gave my 6 year old cousin an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 151

You deserved it 5 338

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Same thing different taste

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 138

You deserved it 13 659

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 502

You deserved it 3 513

You what now?

By tryena - 28/02/2009 10:59 - United States

Today, I babysat a five year-old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 307

You deserved it 92 958

By anon - 23/03/2015 02:24 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 331

You deserved it 2 939

Onan would be proud

By concernedcousin - 05/10/2019 12:00

Today, my little twelve year-old cousin who is staying with us for a while so his parents can "work out issues" ran into my room, his face ghostly white. He begged me to take him to the hospital because he "tugged" on his penis too much in the shower, and was "bleeding milky stuff." Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 192

Early learner

By Michele - 18/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 612

You deserved it 4 060

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 493

You deserved it 46 161

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 310

You deserved it 36 643

The big reveal

By joe - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Easton

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 091

You deserved it 8 762

By Anonymous - 24/11/2012 13:59 - United States

Today, I was playing with my four year-old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 471

You deserved it 7 855

danielrp34 7

Wednesday 19 August 2009 9:37

Umm...Could you give me a piggy back ride too?

spatan89 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 9:44

well that's nice... you were giving him the ride of his life! his 6 years of life! lol. in a couple years you'll be replaced by some other chick tho... i just hope you're ready for that. haha.

Comments

plexico 3

Wednesday 19 August 2009 15:16

Wrong! My parents used to take us kids to the drive-in movies when I was 5 or 6. The first movie was a family film and the second was R-rated. I'd stay up and my winky would go pointy during the sex scenes. Then, I wouldn't know what to do with it, but the erection connection with sex was correct, even when I was very young.

plexico 3

Wednesday 19 August 2009 15:21

I'll bet you make older boys' winkies go to sleep, and maybe scare their bits n' pieces into running away and hiding up in their body cavities.

spamme 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 15:23

my winky goes pointy a lot also! Hi5!

paperfox_fml 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 15:43

WTF?! No, I'm actually pretty sure parents don't find their infant son's erections 'adorable' o.O

N3VVRmiNd 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 15:58

?_? what? I thought erections were caused by overflow of semen or something like that. I thought boys dont develop semen until they're like 11 ?_?

Fop 6

Wednesday 19 August 2009 16:05

Nice work being a bimbo in school. If you actually kept up, you'd know that an erection is caused by blood, not semen.

fretforyerlatte 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 17:24

wowwww. just wow. overflow of semen huh? lolz.

FordPrefect 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 20:13

Jesus. I like to pretend that people as stupid as #45 don't exist. Thanks for ruining it for me.

omigawdd 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 21:19

how old are youu? like 12 years old?? jesus..... D:

Libbi_xxo 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 16:10

omg something similar happend to my exept for he was 8 and i bent over to put his supper on his special little table. he said "looky libbi my peter went up ." it was very akward.

mrsBAUERxo 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 16:42

hahahahahha AWKWARD.

TheTragicReturn 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 16:44

Edit: Nevermind.

TheTragicReturn 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 16:46

Oops, this was meant to be a reply to #12.

alijacket 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 17:02

lol @ least he doesn't hold on to it at all times. my 5 yo cousin realized SOMETHING is going on and so he likes to hold on to it. i know it's normal, but it's so awkward being around him sometimes. we try not to tell him to stop, but sometimes you just have to. i just love how he doesn't give a ****, he's like "i feel GOOD" lmao