Miscellaneous: Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch...

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By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 630

You deserved it 3 247

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Same thing different taste

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 848

You deserved it 301

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 072

You deserved it 4 853

Hello little guy

By Anonymous - 14/05/2021 00:00

Today, I put my house shoes on without socks, but felt a rock in them. I shook it free and out dropped a half-crushed roach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 121

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 034

You deserved it 2 647

By GrahamCracker - 21/05/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 672

You deserved it 8 944

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 397

You deserved it 147

Tasty snack

By spiderinmylips - 24/06/2009 20:19 - United States

Today, I was laying out in my backyard trying to get some color when I felt a little tickle on my lips. I rubbed them together to satisfy the itch, when I felt a sort of crunchiness popping between them. I had crushed a spider between my lips and its legs were still moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 124

You deserved it 7 503

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 974

You deserved it 4 787

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 333

You deserved it 16 757

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 993

You deserved it 2 505

Jimster1712 0

Thursday 8 September 2011 12:04

Now you can play a papa roach song! great band!

Grayscale 9

Thursday 8 September 2011 12:10

Crush their life in to pieces..

Comments

tayza249 20

Thursday 8 September 2011 13:02

Is the guitar really necessary in this story or did you just throw that in to sound cool?

rexgar2000 10

Thursday 8 September 2011 19:00

he's just telling a story. was your comment really necessary? I didn't think so.

SirBedevere 0

Friday 9 September 2011 0:04

He's just jelly because he lost his fingers in Nam.

Emmy_The_Great 2

Friday 9 September 2011 4:26

Was your comment really necessary, or did you just post it to sound cool? I'm pretty sure OP added it to explain why he or she rubbed their foot on the carpet to scratch it--because his or her hands were full.

substantialHack 0

Friday 9 September 2011 4:29

It is necessry because if he didn't say it then people would wonder why he didnt rech down and scratch it with his hand.

1958x 6

Thursday 8 September 2011 13:05

Ugh that's so nasty. I have such a fear of roaches.

VickLynx 6

Thursday 8 September 2011 13:25

Thats gross. :S

IWATCHYOUSLEEP 7

Thursday 8 September 2011 13:37

It's better than waking up with a beetle on your face...

PurpleButterflyy 4

Thursday 8 September 2011 14:26

la cucaracha la cucaracha ya no puede caminar lalalalala

DocBastard 38

Thursday 8 September 2011 14:29

It isn't a good sign that cockroaches are attracted to your feet. For ****'s sake try washing them once in a while. You disgust me.

stoptrying 9

Thursday 8 September 2011 15:31

Cockroaches aren't exactly known for being hesitant to go near a human, they basically do what they want. For ****'s sake try using your brain once in a while. You disgust me.

CryMoreFMLs 14

Thursday 8 September 2011 21:09

And KaySL strikes again!

auriane_fml 19

Friday 9 September 2011 0:18

@ 51 I'm probably going to get alot of thumbs down for this but i don't care. what you said was uncalled for. You could have said that in a nicer way. How was he supposed to know that docbastard was being sarcastic. It's hard to notice when someone is being sarcastic when the comment is written. Not everyone here knows who docbastard is. I have been visiting this site for a long time and i have never heard of him. What has learning about this site got to do with knowing him. It's not like we can find out about him in the rules etc.