Kids: Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we...

FML for mobile
Free

By Dang-ItsDanielle - 07/03/2009 18:28 - United States

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 366

You deserved it 19 431

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By BabyButt - 09/04/2014 17:50 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 627

You deserved it 41 601

Straight to jail

By anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 004

You deserved it 70 986

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 191

You deserved it 5 726

By Jack00412 - 08/07/2014 19:55 - United States - Montague

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year-old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 310

You deserved it 5 540

By geli - 09/08/2016 00:12

Today, while at the public swimming pool, I gave my 2-year-old daughter a piggy back ride in the pool. We were having fun until I realized she had untied my swim top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 786

You deserved it 1 452

By lolmyfduplife - 24/12/2015 06:10

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 701

You deserved it 2 097

By uterurist - 22/11/2014 18:37 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, my son trained his little sister to walk up to strangers and whimper: "My mommy punches me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 865

You deserved it 2 922

By kids say the darnedest things - 19/07/2014 02:56 - United States - Denver

Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 304

You deserved it 7 136

By Anonymous - 12/01/2012 18:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I spun a two year old upside down, in circles. She wasn't remotely dizzy. I threw up on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 623

You deserved it 11 082

Beast Mode

By Vee - 24/09/2017 07:00 - United States

Today, my 80lb black lab decided that the moment I start doing pushups is her cue to mount me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 219

You deserved it 437

FML_allthetime 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 23:36

hahahaha! thats pretty great! if i were another parent in the park, i would be concerned...

Recon_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:26

This was a much needed laugh for the day Thanks! My wife and I do it doggy style all the time. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead. :P

Comments

Unidentified 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:26

If I was a witness to that, I probably would've pissed myself laughing, aha!

Recon_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:26

This was a much needed laugh for the day Thanks! My wife and I do it doggy style all the time. I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead. :P

purpledrank 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 0:34

makes you sound like you rape your daughter... and yes, the black car following you is social services.

Golden_fml 1

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:00

It's okay, once my mom had to blow dry my hair when I was like six because I wanted her to curl the ends, and I couldn't do it myself, and she said one second, and I was getting impatient, so I said, "Can we get on with this ******* already?" She laughed, and told me to never say that again. Hahah, kids say dumb things.

alm1203 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:15

Haha!! I'm pretty sure I used to say that when I was little....

haithurmiranda 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:32

i dont understand how this is your fault

shamille 5

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:33

where did she get that from!? when you had been calling it the underdog?!

IngenuityGap 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:35

Kids say the best shit ever. *remembers telling his grade 1 teacher that "my dad abuses me"*

such_is_life_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 1:53

You might want to have "the Talk" with your daughter xD and lol #18

leahk1785 0

Friday 7 October 2011 20:37

At age 4? Are you crazy?

Cassy_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 2:17

It makes me kind of self-conscious about the horrific things I must've said when I was a kid (I only remember the cute things!). I'm not sure I want to ask my mom :b #13: Now that's blunt >_<. Couldn't we understand without this? #14: Oooooh the win. That's... yeah, that's Golden, pretty literally. (that was lame, I know :b)