Miscellaneous: Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport....

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 20:30 - United States - Randallstown

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 845

You deserved it 5 291

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 565

You deserved it 4 755

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 650

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

By charishard - 04/05/2013 05:17 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 329

You deserved it 35 123

Classic

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the cinema. The lady at the reception gave me my ticket and wished me a good screening. My reply? "Thanks, you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 307

By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 857

You deserved it 2 181

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 472

Charming

By hoggypig - 23/04/2012 13:00

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 590

You deserved it 2 891

CobraLazerFace 21

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:03

Did he happen to have a bitchin' stache and sunglasses on?

WCARlover 34

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:05

So, when's the wedding?

Comments

alphabetta 23

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:17

We all know what happened next... ;)

little_one 20

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:27

I JUST HAD SEX AND IT FELT SO GOOD! He let me put my penis inside him.... :S

1uw 9

Saturday 29 March 2014 10:12

#14 - No. Leave. Now.

Ilovemysphynx 19

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:32

Self esteem booster, at least you know you're attractive!

angelitared 27

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:32

Down in the dirty south.

binger_gitch 12

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:35

At least you are caring OP, don't let it bother you. (:

AnalSpelunking 19

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:40

Hey, a compliment is a compliment where I come from!

doctorhook86 24

Saturday 29 March 2014 9:22

I'd normally agree with you, but the name "Anal Spelunker" suggests you might have an ulterior motive...

KenB99 15

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:50

thats why southern peole are awesome. badass AND polite.

_G0D_ 9

Sunday 30 March 2014 4:28

And gay.

HuebertMCR 10

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:51

Hey, that just means you got it ;)

MLardinos 14

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:57

Looks like you might have a date for tonight.

imchacon22 19

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:59

I guess you can say things are pretty serious

Lang88 13

Saturday 29 March 2014 6:09

Perverted TSA

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable Jealousy My ex Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, an absolute cretin of a lorry driver ran into the back of me as I was slowing down for an orange light about to go red. My car is totalled and he had the nerve to tell the police I had brake checked him on purpose, probably for an insurance scam, and that it was all my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 64

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 1 036

The Top

Today, my Dad found out that like anime and I that actually collect anime figurines. I wanted to hide my hobbies from my parents, but he found out. Luckily he didn't mind the fact that I have this kind of hobby, but he went on to share the fact that I have "this kind of hobby" to our relatives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 762

You deserved it 323

Today, while on a road trip, we stopped at a convenience store and I did not feel the need to pee at all. Ten minutes later, back on the road, my teeth were floating. I’m in my twenties and thought only little kids and the elderly had this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 624

Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 371

You deserved it 2 942

Today, I thought my mother was coming into my room to give me lunch. She gave me cleaning supplies instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 3 162

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 887

You deserved it 2 665

Today, I learned that shaving while feeling upset is a very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 330

You deserved it 6 602

Same thing different taste

TSA

Classic

Eww! Cleanliness!

Charming

Top comments

Comments