Miscellaneous: Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport....

By Anonymous - 28/03/2014 20:30 - United States - Randallstown

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 845

You deserved it 5 291

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Same thing different taste

By sufia - 29/09/2016 11:14 - Pakistan

Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 353

You deserved it 1 170

TSA

By androgynous - 30/03/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 565

You deserved it 4 755

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 663

You deserved it 47 213

By jennyygrace - 11/07/2009 00:16 - United States

Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 610

You deserved it 41 650

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 666

You deserved it 35 462

By charishard - 04/05/2013 05:17 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was checking out a customer who seemed quite friendly. As I finished, he reached slightly over the counter and I impulsively reached out and shook his hand. He gave me a dumbfounded look and said, "Can I have my change please?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 329

You deserved it 35 123

Classic

By Anonymous - 16/11/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the cinema. The lady at the reception gave me my ticket and wished me a good screening. My reply? "Thanks, you too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 635

You deserved it 307

By StarDust5921 - 04/10/2016 01:55 - United States - Utica

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 857

You deserved it 2 181

Eww! Cleanliness!

By Anonymous - 22/11/2022 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 472

Charming

By hoggypig - 23/04/2012 13:00

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 590

You deserved it 2 891

CobraLazerFace 21

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:03

Did he happen to have a bitchin' stache and sunglasses on?

WCARlover 34

Saturday 29 March 2014 5:05

So, when's the wedding?

Comments

NotGabe 28

Saturday 29 March 2014 6:36

Even TSA agents need something to chuckle about every now and then.

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 29 March 2014 6:50

T.S.A. with a sense of humor, nice. I'm sure he was messing with you.

energizerbunny23 18

Saturday 29 March 2014 6:58

He would have felt more violated than you, haha

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 29 March 2014 7:24

It seems like you got a gay security guard...

Asstarotte 7

Saturday 29 March 2014 7:49

That would be me as a pay down officer guy.

Vallion 5

Saturday 29 March 2014 8:25

I work at an airport. Always do this when a passenger thanks me for a pat-down. You just got trolled, and you deserved it. ;)

nokturn_fml 11

Saturday 29 March 2014 8:32

Gotta love that

Stazza11 27

Saturday 29 March 2014 9:13

.... A bit suspect

buckdharma 37

Saturday 29 March 2014 9:47

Don't fall for that op, you'll wind up barefoot and pregnant.

Jarl_the_Elite 27

Saturday 29 March 2014 9:57

Did he spend more time in the lower region?

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I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 33

Today, I've spent nearly three weeks indulging my boyfriend's weird fetish, where he wears a hockey mask and I call him Jason. He just confessed it isn't really a fetish for him and that was just fucking with me. He's already told all his friends. I'm humiliated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 245

You deserved it 4 765

The Top

Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 324

You deserved it 3 115

Today, I opened the bathroom door and it broke my wife’s little toe. As revenge, she ruined the ending of Assassin's Creed that she had gotten me for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 470

You deserved it 667

Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year old son answered the door and when he saw me said, 'oh great, it's YOU' and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 588

You deserved it 4 947

Today, I drove to school and arrived early to find a parking spot. I found one close to the school, checked the signs, and thought, "Street cleaning is Wednesday. It's okay to park here since it's Tuesday." Being thrown off a day by Labor Day on Monday, I came back to a ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 582

You deserved it 7 610

Today, I went down to my congresscritter's office to deliver some paperwork. Somehow, I'd forgotten the pocketknife I kept on me for hiking, from four years ago, back when I could walk consistently. The security guards were kind enough not to laugh at me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 205

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 774

You deserved it 2 432

Same thing different taste

TSA

Classic

Eww! Cleanliness!

Charming

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