Miscellaneous: Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check...

By Anonymous - 20/01/2013 02:55 - Canada

Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 798

You deserved it 9 699

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Same thing different taste

ur mom gay

By Anonymous - 02/05/2018 01:30

Today, I pretended to be asleep when my mom and her best friend came home because I was tired as hell and I didn't want to be around them. I was then treated to a loud conversation about my mom's first time with a woman through our paper-thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 311

You deserved it 724

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 643

You deserved it 45 065

By ohfantastic - 25/01/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 696

You deserved it 2 385

By Joel_mama - 27/07/2009 01:12 - New Zealand

Today, while driving home with my parents. I pretended to be asleep so mum wouldn't talk to me. They then took this time to describe what they were going to do to each other when they got home. In full detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 014

You deserved it 20 795

Halloween came early

By umm..WHAT?? - 22/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 10:05 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 189

You deserved it 5 303

By thanks, dad... - 30/08/2013 17:24 - Romania - Baia Mare

Today, I was playing with my phone after midnight, and I kept getting calls from a withheld number. The guy just breathed heavily and wouldn't speak. When the third call came, I asked "who the hell are you?" The call ended, and my dad yelled from outside my door: "ME! Now go to sleep!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 123

You deserved it 14 481

By sleepless - 20/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my insomnia started back up again. It was too late to get something to help me sleep so I was lying there wondering what I should do. I decided to listen to some ambient music. It helped a lot, but when I was about to fall asleep my parents decided to start doing 'it'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 048

You deserved it 2 903

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 06:00

Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 433

Kill it with fire

By Anonymous - 31/05/2022 06:00 - Germany - Moormerland

Today, my dad reactivated a digital clock we had lying around, and accidentally set an alarm on it. For 1 a.m.. So guess who went hunting for that noise in the middle of night. And guess who banished the thing to the living room, then forgot about it, and slept on the sofa in said living room. Or tried to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 223

SmallBean 12

Sunday 20 January 2013 9:33

well at least he had the courtesy to check if you were up or not. Next time just have that 30 second conversation with your father and you can avoid this again.

sens3sfailing 24

Sunday 20 January 2013 10:25

Why didn't I think of that? I'll just completely change the thickness of my walls with that easy do-it-yourself kit they sell online...

Comments

skip_m 6

Sunday 20 January 2013 14:39

You could have sent a text to their phones to stop.

victus 14

Sunday 20 January 2013 15:16

this fml reminds me of the one with grandparents checking the grandchild before having sex... I had hoped stuff like that didn't happen very often

Panda_Shy_Haven 17

Sunday 20 January 2013 15:42

Well technically he did look to see if you were asleep or not like you thought

stallingsjason 6

Sunday 20 January 2013 16:08

That's the beauty of sex, whether its your parents or grandparents, at least they are still in love with each other and I am not reading another cheating FML. Be happy OP. Besides its their house

charvisioku 22

Sunday 20 January 2013 16:25

I never get why this kind of situation is so 'bad'. Just put the ear plugs in and carry on reading or whatever... it's not like it's a newsflash that your parents have sex. Like others have said... at least they're still into each other unlike a lot of couples. It's not really a traumatic thing unless you've been conditioned by other people to think it is.

shrdlu 28

Sunday 20 January 2013 16:28

Well, what would you do when you're 50 and horny and already sharing a bed with an eager partner?

Calingaladha 21

Sunday 20 January 2013 16:44

Well...sex to be you.

llamafish 25

Sunday 20 January 2013 16:47

Can someone please explain to me the point of "censoring" a word using characters that look like the letters they replace? Doesn't it defeat the purpose?

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Sunday 20 January 2013 17:33

No, for a lot of people it is habit because there are a lot of websites with word filters that will filter the entire word such as turning Jackass to ******* if you don't replace symbols like that.

ballbearing 10

Sunday 20 January 2013 19:30

You deserve it for still living with your parents. Unless your still a teenager, in which case, you still deserve it for whining about your parents having sex. They own the damn house - they can have sex as loud as they want.