Intimacy: Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old...

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 21:15 - United States

Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet floor at the mall last night when the security guards tasered me. Only this morning did they tell me they had mistaken me for a child molester that looks a little bit like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 115

You deserved it 3 562

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By amy - 08/09/2022 07:30

Today, I was released from jail. Why was I in jail? Last night, I used my taser on a much larger, drunken male individual who wouldn't physically keep his hands off me, despite me telling him to back off. Everything was on camera outside the bar, yet I'm the one who was arrested. Thank you California laws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 228

A shooting waiting to happen

By Never Been Arrested - 01/03/2016 21:44 - United States - State College

Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 356

You deserved it 1 288

Suspicious activity

By omgn00blolz89 - 07/04/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 579

You deserved it 3 764

Unruly meets incompetence

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in the library when police arrested me for threatening people. The librarian even told them I did nothing wrong, and that the actual girl they wanted had already left. They took me in anyway. My dad sided with the police and let me “think about what I did” in jail overnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 899

You deserved it 84

By ournhd - 13/11/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 277

You deserved it 3 133

By Username - 31/07/2019 00:01 - Singapore

Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 658

You deserved it 234

By THATguy - 21/09/2009 04:12 - United States

Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 2 300

Appropriate force

By Peppered and Zapped - 07/04/2020 05:00

Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 119

You deserved it 209

Saturday night fever

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 08:09

Today, I was arrested on my 25th birthday and thrown in jail overnight for impersonating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 175

Trigger happy

By Anonymous - 13/06/2020 05:00

Today, I was shot and arrested for trespassing. I'm a firefighter and I was saving a child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 394

You deserved it 118

EngineerJane 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:38

That's today society for you. All males are rapist and all females are goddesses.

indiablue 4

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:13

sucks to be you!

Comments

zibzoobakanoon 0

Saturday 12 May 2012 23:45

they only said that so they wouldn't look bad!

LizzJizz 16

Monday 2 July 2012 16:37

OP, did this really happen, I am curious to know. Sometimes these fml's are fake. Sounds interesting though, o hope this is a real one.

kallep000 9

Wednesday 15 August 2012 5:45

What did u go to jail for caugh cough melestation cough cough

reeses1981 10

Sunday 9 September 2012 23:17

Hello, lawsuit!

hurley12 30

Wednesday 30 January 2013 6:45

I think the part that you were released from jail was unessecary.

sexypvc24 10

Friday 27 March 2015 18:52

I'm so sorry that happened to you

XtremeHeat 14

Friday 29 May 2015 2:44

You deserve it for having a child molester look like you.

Kalhenwrath 13

Wednesday 20 July 2016 16:01

hello, lawsuit.

yergenferfer 9

Thursday 18 August 2016 19:36

Why is this under intimacy?

Fran Rolli 8

Wednesday 8 May 2019 20:26

Sue their ass

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Annoying Am I overreacting? Health Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 43 350

You deserved it 8 250

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 138

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I agree, your life sucks 57 707

You deserved it 3 658

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 176

You deserved it 47 658

Today, I had just finished writing an essay for English. I was proud of it and thought it was one of my best works. I decided to show it to my mom, who is an English major. She read it, turned to me and said, "You know, if you actually want to go to UCLA, you're going to need to actually try." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 217

You deserved it 4 640