Intimacy: Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I...

FML for mobile
Free

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 00:02 - Guatemala - Guatemala City

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 828

You deserved it 6 579

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 837

You deserved it 42 661

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 663

You deserved it 4 990

Ahem

By Bucko321 - 30/03/2009 01:18 - Canada

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 732

You deserved it 78 332

Knock next time please

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 21:32 - India

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was about to suck his dick when my mom walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 807

Lock your doors

By Anonymous - 27/05/2019 00:14

Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 767

By Rob - 07/11/2018 03:00

Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 876

You deserved it 402

Cold shower

By MrAwsum - 17/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good, my phone beeped. It was a text from my mom, saying, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 556

You deserved it 48 721

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 709

You deserved it 4 399

By Anonymous - 28/03/2009 20:18 - United States

Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 737

You deserved it 37 057

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 933

ColbyGB 13

Saturday 1 June 2013 5:37

Like mother, like daughter

firechicky 12

Saturday 1 June 2013 5:34

look at it this way, maybe one day you can tell your younger brother/sister you heard their conception.

Comments

meherm 11

Saturday 1 June 2013 13:20

Has anyone wondered why it's so weird for us to think of our parents having sex but then when it's come to us with our partners it's like no biggie..

wowsaint 4

Saturday 1 June 2013 13:20

So its a family business.

Jharrist89 12

Saturday 1 June 2013 15:03

That's the worst Op!

PaintedTempest 14

Saturday 1 June 2013 16:52

What does "dirty" texts to your boyfriend have anything to do with it?

Epikouros 31

Saturday 1 June 2013 18:12

Please go riding and forget this perverted site until you start sexting your boyfriend.

MarissaCristina 13

Saturday 1 June 2013 20:13

She could have been having sex with your boyfriend. Now THAT would've have been really frightening.

boobsarefun 4

Saturday 1 June 2013 21:33

I love how u added the part about sending dirty texts even tho it was completely unnecessary lol

Brainnnnz 19

Saturday 1 June 2013 22:09

What dies sending dirty texts to your boyfriend have to do with this FML?

millsjoshua949 12

Tuesday 28 July 2020 20:39

Is one thing connected to the other?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Awkward Hospital Pregnancy Animals Dogs Death Sadness Love Intimacy Sex AITA Cute Technology Cats Miscellaneous Birthday Parents Relatable Anxiety Mental health Family Religion Shopping Weird Transportation Annoying Money Food Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 671

You deserved it 15 133

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 169

You deserved it 7 792

The Top

Today, the framed memorabilia that I spent $195 on last week came crashing to the floor. It was on my wall for less than 2 hours. The picture is torn and the glass is shattered, but at least the frame is alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 942

You deserved it 609

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 415

You deserved it 3 839

Today, my brother asked me how to block someone on Facebook. Seeing as how my brother never asks me for anything, I took this opportunity to help him. He then blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 301

You deserved it 7 607

Today, I ordered a graduation cake from a woman at the grocery store. She asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I said "Congratulations Annie". Then she asked me who was ordering and I said "Annie". I had to order my own cake. The woman was silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 976

You deserved it 6 741

Today, I found out a 6-month pregnant woman is claiming my boyfriend to be the father. Even though this would have been previous to our relationship, he already has two kids from getting girls pregnant in high school. I guess he didn't learn his lesson the first two times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 203

You deserved it 16 649

Today, my need for medication that increases bruising collided with my need for major oral surgery. I look like a chipmunk who lost a fight. Just in time for Mother’s Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 86