Health and Miscellaneous: Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My...

By LaurenLehmmman - 27/12/2009 22:22 - United States

Today, I was singing while lying upside down chewing gum. My dad was trying to focus on the current football game and hushed me. I yelled, "No!" resulting in my gum becoming lodged in my windpipe. I shut up after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 291

You deserved it 52 241

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 091

You deserved it 40 034

By quietdown - 30/05/2009 19:50 - United States

Today, I began to choke on a large pill while my mom was in the room. Hoping that she would help me, I began to make a lot of noise. After she completely ignored me, I threw my body over a chair, saving my life. At this point my mother asks me to shut up because she can't hear her friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 036

You deserved it 4 759

By Anonymous - 29/01/2013 04:23 - United States - Lafayette Hill

Today, I almost died. How? I nearly suffocated after passing out while chewing an entire pack of gum. I should really drink less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 593

You deserved it 46 282

By gumchuck - 05/02/2015 21:03 - United States - Marshall

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 851

You deserved it 16 306

By FGum - 30/07/2009 05:56 - United States

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 464

You deserved it 87 846

Surprise!

By BAMashleyx3 - 06/06/2019 06:07

Today, my dad texted me while I was in the dentist's chair getting my teeth cleaned. The dental hygienist jumped at the notification sound my phone made and split my gum open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 901

You deserved it 671

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 301

You deserved it 26 030

Tasty

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 046

You deserved it 677

By Bad at life - 18/10/2018 13:30

Today, I pulled a muscle in my face. Chewing gum. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 082

You deserved it 621

Noise annoys

By Breathy - 07/09/2022 00:00

Today, while sitting next to my mom at a restaurant, she told me to stop moving and making so much noise because, "It's distracting." The noise I was making was me breathing. I'm not even allowed to breathe. Guess I'll die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 150

nuked 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:20

And why were you singing during a game? YDI for being a disrespectful idiot.

Malevise 0

Monday 28 December 2009 1:22

YDI for being annoying.

Comments

Arieah 17

Sunday 3 March 2013 13:43

You seem like you'd be not very fun to hang around... The type of person that gains amusement from pissing other people off. YDI kiddo.

xgardian 15

Monday 29 April 2013 2:07

Sing in your room.....? Children these days, I swear....

aliyahstars 7

Wednesday 16 July 2014 15:15

Your fault for being rude to your parents and yelling no

notrealfmls 1

Monday 29 December 2014 15:01

Ydi

Astrobomb 21

Tuesday 14 July 2015 4:39

Good. That's what you get for being disrespectful.

JHamm2121 15

Wednesday 16 September 2015 20:35

I hate you OP.

DickButt1 10

Monday 18 July 2016 0:52

I'm sure your parents regretted not getting the abortion now...

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, and like most days, I spend my day pretending to be happy just so other people won’t suspect anything, then as soon as I get home I just collapse on the sofa miserable, and eventually fall asleep only to wake up the next day to do it all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 212

The Top

Today, I tried yet again to get an appointment for the Covid plus flu vaccine. Nothing's available in my area for Covid, nothing's available in my area for the flu, and no Covid + flu shots. On the radio, they're telling us for the nth time that it's important to get vaccinated as flu season will be a doozie this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 265

Today, at work at a psych hospital, I saw a lady get out of a Lyft with two other people. The lady went into the lobby, while the two other people went to admissions. I asked the lady in the lobby if she was lost or needed help finding admissions, thinking she was family of the other two. Turns out she works in a different building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 141

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was photoshopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 025

You deserved it 3 232

Today, I took my truck through an automatic car wash. During the wash, the bristles on one of the automatic scrubbers ripped my metal antenna off of my car. The antenna was stuck spinning around in the scrubber, smacking and scratching the entire side of my car, top to bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 049

You deserved it 952

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 603

You deserved it 58 879

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 555

You deserved it 17 227

Same thing different taste

Surprise!

Tasty

Noise annoys

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