By SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 066
You deserved it 66 962

SamWGovan tells us more.

SamWGovan 6

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

NzaHaFML 13

So what did it taste like?

465 21

Comments

ICastillo 24

Well that's new way to do the Money shot.

23 4
perdix 29

Yuck, you did The Cobain.

65 10
jangalianxi 6

You mean OP's psycho wife shot him with his cum then covered it up to look like he did it himself?

7 10
BlowinChronic 18

Why not? He'll probably just zone out, shoot himself in the head, thus raising the population's IQ.

30 1
Bright_Lights 14

I struggle to understand how zoning out while masturbating and subsequently ejaculating on your face relates to low IQ...

8 20
Dracoboxer357 35

61- *Face palm* With a firearm, kid, shoots himself in the head with a......oh, why do I bother? :p

4 1
CarbonCoach 11

It's like test scores for a class. You get 23% and everyone else gets 60%, 76%,78%, etc. To find the average you add all those test scores and divide by the number of test scores that were added. That gives you the average. Now think of the your test score as your IQ and the class test score as the country. If you reproduce and make babies you will be lowering their IQ since yours is low to begin with. Then the countrys overall IQ rate will drop... at #61.

2 0
grannygruber 6

Now you'll know how ur GF feels when u do that shit to her! YDI

74 5
aisthecoolest 8

Who said he does that to his girlfriend?

11 1
lexiepullen 7

Who said he has a girlfriend?

30 0
MBedford 2

People who master are into their own nostrils normally don't have girlfriends

10 2
yusaku02 20

well... at least it was your own.

32 2
looney_mc 4

Nice I'm going to try that one at home

5 22
klovemachine 24

Good luck with that :P

2 1
gmaniac93 7

I'm not gonna lie to you, I've done that at least twice. Not on purpose of course.

23 5
justhanging 6

So, once wasn't enough?

6 8
cnator 12

No, the feeling was just so good he had to do it again.

9 0
Accuraxy 10

At least it didn't get into both eyes. Then you would be scrambling around for a tissue with no pants on and semen dripping from your face.

49 2
GothickNihilist 15

Thank you for that lovely visual.If you excuse me I an going to gouge out my eyes now.

33 0