By SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 066
You deserved it 66 962

SamWGovan tells us more.

SamWGovan 6

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

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Top comments

NzaHaFML 13

So what did it taste like?

465 21

Comments

chubbybunny963 7

It never ceases to amaze me with how many words people can come up with for penis.

19 1
ricm916 4

This should help you: Dick **** Wiener Pecker Boner Hard on Thing Piece Member Tool Package Unit Shaft ItDoinker Prick Cack Choad Chub Pud Schlong Wankie Dong Wang Ding a ling Ding dong Long dong 100% all-beef thermometer Kielbasa Bratwurst Meat Popsicle Big Italian salami Meat thermometer Bologna pony Salami Sausage Tube steak Weenie Pork sword Noodle Banana Stinky pickle Corn dog Magic wand Staff Divine Rod Magic mushroom tip Love muscle Love shaft Love stick Baby maker Main vein Middle leg Third leg Baby arm Tonsil tickler Anal impaler Cornholer Heat-seeking love missile Beef bayonet Power drill Jack hammer Wedding tackle Bat Club Rod Pole, Knob Joystick Jack-in-the-box Little solider Tally Whacker Skin flute Male organ D-train The D Mr. Happy Bald-Headed Yogurt Slinger Big Dick and the Twins Long Dong Silver Jimmy Johnson Little Chubby Captain Winky One Eyed Willy Ole One Eye One Eyed Monster Purple-Headed Soldier Purple Headed Warrior Peter Harry Johnson Alabama black snake Anaconda One eyed snake One eyed trouser snake Hog The Salamander Purple headed cobra Electric eel Worm Giant Redwood Horse **** Hung Pencil dick Needle dick Lincoln Log Tootsie Roll Tiny Tim Twig and berries Teeny weenie

0 0
KageKaldaka 6

Holy balefire that is a lot of ways to say penis..

0 0
MBedford 2

This is what I miss from this site, FMLs that actually make me laugh. Lately it's just been a bunch of sissies whining about first world problems or how they aren't satisfied with their significant other. MORE FUNNY STORIES!!

0 0
FlyingPie 17

That's quite a pickle you got yourself into.

5 1
a1337panda 8

I don't know what to say...hope your eye is doing fine...and your nose.

1 2
_TasteTheRainbow 24

How the hell did you zone out while masturbating? o_O

4 0
badbitchesonly 2

Now you know how it feels -___-

10 1
cnator 12

How would you know what it's like to cum into your own face?

7 2
CharresBarkrey 15

136 - She could be post-op. Who knows.

6 2
Jakespeed207 4

Damn, vegeta , the load was supposed to go all over zarbon's insides, idiot. Either way, YDI man. Be mindful next time

2 2
Dusty_Busters 15

I love how you worded it

1 4
skulltorn 8

******* Europeans, you need to lean how to jerk off like an American! We jerk off with pride and strength!

0 0
cmb8280 24

Ooh, into the eye is never good. Burns like all ******* hell. Ooh...

5 0
mthurston 14

I love how u know that #109

0 0