By SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 066
You deserved it 66 962

SamWGovan tells us more.

SamWGovan 6

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

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Top comments

NzaHaFML 13

So what did it taste like?

465 21

Comments

bwzwally8 15

Hahaha first time I've heard it being called gherkin.

2 0
metalhead4740 14

Of all the phrases for masturbation, jerkin the gherkin is probably the worst. Polishing the pearled ceptor of love is classier...

3 3
legend777 7

I really hope you never mention this to anyone. Not something to really "share"

0 2
joethebiden 8

"Horatio, the victim was found with his face covered in his own semen" "Well I guess he died from a..." *puts on glasses* "...self-inflicted cumshot wound" YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEA-

21 1
dan_in_wi 12

haha, don't lie... your so lonely you had to give yourself a facial! really? wtf kinda excuse is zoning out? I'm pretty sure that should be the only thing your focused on at the time? loser...

0 0
nicopo_fml 11

Love the joe dirt reference. And nice shot buddy

0 1