By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 061
You deserved it 14 188

Same thing different taste

Top comments

pinkcrayola 0

Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!

Comments

darth1 18

I'm pretty sure after that horrible ordeal you're allowed to murder him, I'm 95% positive it's in the constitution.

I'm all for immature acts and unleashing your inner child when you're in that comfortable stage of a relationship, but that's just overstepping it to the point of just being downright despicably foul. I really hope SOME sort of punishment was delivered afterwards, be it denying sex, the silent treatment, or what-have-you. And if this is not the first time something this over-the-top has occurred, you might want to reconsider the marriage before you're legally stuck to this unsanitary child and it becomes harder to break away from him. Or at the least get it through his head that that's not acceptable (although as a grown-ass man you'd think he'd know that himself).

How do you know he's an ass man, maybe he's a boob man

Well he's certainly proven himself to be a boob, I'll give you that.

desireev 17

I was thinking the same thing! I thought my fiancé was immature!... He gives me Dutch-ovens and jump-shots.(Start running from across the room, jump up and fart as he is passing me, and yell out 'JUMP SHOT!). But if he was to sit on my face and do that to me, I'd have to kill him! That's brutal and disgusting! OP, have a talk with your fiancé and tell him that he crossed a line. If he continues to do it and you choose to stay with him, YDI.

Desireev, your fiancé will never grow out of it. I knew guys in their forties who are still doing shit like that. If you are hoping that he will change eventually, give up hope. Either you decide to live with it for the rest I your very long life ( at 21) or run now. You can't change him.

cwbsmoker 5

Jesus Christ you women have your panties bunched WAY too far up your ass. So he farted on her face. **** they obviously LOVE each other. Hes NOT a freaking DOG. He doesn't need to be SCOLDED. Or PUNISHED. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU PEOPLE HAVE THE AUDACITY TO TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO GET RUD OF HIM BEFORE THEY'RE MARRIED AND IT'S HARDER TO HET RID OF HIM. **** YOU FOR EVEN THINKING THAT IT WAS JUST A ******* JOKE. IF MY FIANCÉ TOLD ME IT WAS OVER BECAUSE I FARTED IN HER ******* FACE THER WOULD BE MAJOR HELL TO PAY. **** YOU FOR GETTING IN HER PERSONAL LIFE. LIKE OR DISLIKE YOU HAVE NO ******* ROOM TO TALK!!!

radiocrash 4

women are literally ridiculous. so he tries to have some fun and that results in utter disgust towards him as well as subsequent punishment? okay, well how about as punishment from CONSTANT denial of sex(which btw is far worse than a fart), we get to poop in your hair? would you like that? my guess is no. so how about you stop being so spiteful and then maybe your, what im assuming, failed marriage could have been avoided. if anyone needs to grow up its you.

hernando240411 0

You both are messed, give the guy some slake

@cwbsmoker, I'm not even going to give a response to that. @radiocrash, humans evolved a long time ago, thus you would think a grown-ass man would prove such a feat. Farting in someone's face where the sense of smell and taste are focused is an absolutely foul and primitive thing to do, no matter the stage of comfort in your relationship you're in. It's something a very young child would think to be absolutely hilarious. Judging by your defense of the act, I am going to assume that you also would perform such a thing, or think it to be absolutely hilarious from a viewing point. But how about you calm your own **** and put yourself in the perspective of the OP. Would you find it hilarious for your significant other to be to suddenly force their ass upon your face and unleash methane gas into your nose and mouth? Probably not nearly as supportive with that sort of perspective in mind. And like I said in the beginning of my comment, I'm all for childish antics when you're in a very comfortable stage of your relationship, but the line between childish fun and anticlimactically disgusting behavior isn't exactly a thin and fine one to cross.

radiocrash 4

@mirorbo i just cant get over the fact that you literally have punishments set up for him. just because his sense of humor is different than yours doesnt mean he should be punished. you didnt like it? im sure he doesnt like it when you become miss trenchabul for a week of every month. so maybe for unmistakable period ragefests, women should also be punished. i dont and wont ever understand women logic...maybe because there is none. so tonight when you slip into your granny panties and watch late night reruns of roseanne alone, remember that being a rotten bitch all the time makes everyone hate you.

lmaoo that's awsome!!! I couldn't stop laughing, but for real tho that's pretty nasty

Lol..a great way to creat funny memories on your road trip. You should deffo return the favour.

Epikouros 31

Fap fap fap... I want to marry this guy!

mycatsarecrazy 5

What a douche and why are you marrying it??

That's disgusting. He'd be sleeping on the couch for awhile if I were you.