Animals: Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling...

By injuredwifelady - 23/02/2016 08:23 - United States - Omaha

Today, I was sleeping peacefully with my cat sweetly snuggling my legs under the covers. My husband dutch-ovened her, and she shredded my calves as she rushed to escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 842

You deserved it 1 996

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Surprise, human!

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I didn't realize my cat was sleeping in the room with me until she decided to jump on me in the middle of the night, resulting in a critical hit to my groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 98

Say sorry to Mr Whiskers!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 14:01

Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 328

By iliku - 01/06/2019 02:00

Today, I was having a romantic evening with my new boyfriend, until we walked into my bedroom and discovered that my cat had ripped apart my pads and had spread them all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 501

You deserved it 233

By Catremorse - 01/08/2019 14:00 - United States - Centreville

Today, my cat was laying on my chest while I was in bed. I farted, which my closed legs seemed to amplify. My cat was so scared, she used me as a launching pad and cut my chest in three places with her claws. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 362

You deserved it 575

The little things

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 286

You deserved it 2 937

By Anonymous - 04/09/2017 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I slept naked after a great night together. I awoke to a sharp pain in my penis and found our cat trying a new scratching post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 141

You deserved it 482

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 264

You deserved it 7 318

By tornkhakis - 24/02/2014 07:20 - United States - Bloomington

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 198

You deserved it 4 176

By Michelle - 20/02/2011 17:45 - United States

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 107

You deserved it 4 973

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 08:33 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was putting the cat outside. He wouldn't go, so I kicked him. Then I woke up to my husband screaming. I’d been dreaming, and the "cat" I kicked was his family jewels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 689

You deserved it 9 173

WCARlover 34

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:04

I bet that wasn't the only pussy he drove away that night

gamermonster 34

Tuesday 23 February 2016 17:59

I sure hope your legs don't get infected. Heal quick OP.

Comments

gamermonster 34

Tuesday 23 February 2016 17:59

I sure hope your legs don't get infected. Heal quick OP.

Emma1562 35

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:01

Dang that's unfortunate, next time keep her above the covers

PencilTips 19

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:07

Those things know how to get anywhere and anyplace it's scary. Also, once they find a comfort zone, you best not mess with them.

whoredom 21

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:01

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

Emma1562 35

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:02

All those puns are a CATastrophy

Yuso_Yagari 9

Tuesday 23 February 2016 19:45

You've got to be kitten me

NomeDMF 17

Wednesday 24 February 2016 1:32

Tried a little too hard there.

senor_octubre 24

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:03

That's hilarious that your husband Dutch ovened your cat. But seriously fyl hope your legs get better

kokomo777 17

Tuesday 23 February 2016 18:03

Rub catnip on his legs tonight. Hope your legs heal, OP!

confused_wandere 26

Tuesday 23 February 2016 20:41

Well that's just cruel isn't it? What he did was completely accidental.

DoomedGemini 37

Wednesday 24 February 2016 0:38

No he purposefully Dutch ovened the cat. The injuries to op were accidental but he made the choice to be a dick to the cat.

confused_wandere 26

Wednesday 24 February 2016 2:24

So that means she should purposely hurt him? It sucks majorly that she got hurt, but that wasn't his intenion. You can't just hurt someone on purpose to get back at them.