Animals: Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with...

FML for mobile
Free

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 557

You deserved it 12 052

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 3 457

Lonely, so lonely…

By JustAnotherFML23 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 7 236

I believe it was I who said…

By unfortunate - 25/04/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 116

You deserved it 10 484

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 5 902

Talk to me

By JoseIsAdork - 11/01/2016 18:03 - United States - Somers

Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 345

You deserved it 2 385

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 961

You deserved it 6 325

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 3 655

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 494

You deserved it 2 278

SmallTownCutie 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:06

aww it's ok. you're just lonely.

Illyssa_fml 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:12

awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha

Comments

korn247 5

Wednesday 3 November 2010 20:29

43, YOU'RE AMAZING!!! SYSTEM OF A DOWN!!!!!

caraphernelia 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 20:54

you're a disgusting freak.

magenmurderr 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:15

what's his name, eh?

DankAssKeefSlump 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 21:21

Youre worthless pathetic and desperate Die in a hole is a future youre looking forward to

Thatbi 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 23:08

Bummer, For those who are taking the piss ypu obviously havent felt that lonely before. It hurts

tbonea1990 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:11

poor cricket

moogie0221 3

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:11

One legged ? Must be named Eileen . Unless it's an asian cricket , Irene .

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:54

Oh my gosh!!!! It's embarrassing how long it took me to get this joke. I hate ethnic jokes, and I hate that I laughed.

thatgirljen 0

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:29

dude, really? a crippled cricket? wow.

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:34

How do you know it's a guy?

Shinygirlnz 1

Thursday 4 November 2010 0:44

The FML belongs to the cricket. Poor trapped cricket. Let the cricket go outside please, that's where crickets are happiest.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Money Annoying Friends Shopping Awkward Embarrassing Love Dance Birthday Surprise Relatable Food Instagram Social Media Animals Dogs Cute Technology Work Intimacy Kids Sex Relationship advice Roommate Allergies Pranks Cats Parents Thief

The Top

Today, my husband demanded I delete all my male friends/contacts except family members. All this because I texted one of my male friends, “Happy Birthday! Hope you have a good one.” According to him, “One thing leads to another then next thing you know you both are in bed fucking like rabbits.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 297

Today, due to nepotism, I lost to a competitor. They rarely contributed to the competition and were literally distracted all the way through. Their quality was pretty low as well, but they were friends with the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 722

You deserved it 97

The Top

Today, I had to accept that my anxiety affects me 24/7, even when while I'm sleeping. I genuinely can't remember the last time I had a pleasant dream after falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 114

Today, my parents told me they were getting divorced, at the beginning of a family road trip, adding that this'll be the last thing we ever do as a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 826

You deserved it 1 679

Today, I realized that sometimes I forget to turn off my desk light when I leave the room for dinner. I also learned that said desk light can get hot enough to melt plastic, which is why my brand-new laptop screen was literally oozing onto the table top when I got back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 749

You deserved it 12 857

Today, when I went to my gp for an annual check up, I was complaining to the nurse about my chronically sore ankle. Turns out it has been fractured for 8 years. When I was 11 I was playing in my grans garden and went over on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 674

You deserved it 306

Today, I realized why my lavender products were no longer helping me calm down. I use lavender so much when I'm anxious that I've associated the smell with anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 720

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 308

You deserved it 7 475