Animals: Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with...

FML for mobile
Free

By nk - 03/11/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 557

You deserved it 12 052

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Ear Invasion - 26/01/2013 05:53 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 3 457

Lonely, so lonely…

By JustAnotherFML23 - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Seattle

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 772

You deserved it 7 236

I believe it was I who said…

By unfortunate - 25/04/2012 04:50 - Sweden

Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 116

You deserved it 10 484

Cool

By daisythebunny1988 - 21/03/2020 00:01

Today, I was sitting in my garage with a fan on my face because it was hot when a suicidal cricket decided to jump into the blades, causing his cricket guts to be sprayed onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 225

By Anonymous - 19/02/2011 06:17 - United States

Today, I was so lonely, I wound up talking for two hours to the creep who calls my number every Friday night and makes creepy obscene breathing noises on the other end of the phone. Turns out he's a better listener than my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 761

You deserved it 5 902

Talk to me

By JoseIsAdork - 11/01/2016 18:03 - United States - Somers

Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 345

You deserved it 2 385

By Username - 29/07/2011 19:17 - United States

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 961

You deserved it 6 325

If the shoe fits…

By Bruce - 17/08/2010 17:09 - United States

Today, I discovered a bat in my new apartment. I found him in my shoe… with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 713

You deserved it 3 655

By LonelyAF - 12/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was so lonely I called my stalker ex-boyfriend. He was too busy to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 412

You deserved it 4 358

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 494

You deserved it 2 278

SmallTownCutie 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:06

aww it's ok. you're just lonely.

Illyssa_fml 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 12:12

awesome!! are you gonna find a giant peach now? haha

Comments

Ajaxxx 4

Wednesday 3 November 2010 17:32

Hey I'll be Your Friend =]

apclr 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:02

You at least have a one legged cricket to talk to. FML

jose1760 1

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:19

Get a dog alteast he will know you are there!

SmellMyCheese 1

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:27

give me back my cricket!

BigJonMoo73 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:54

What a loser! LoL

BabesYourAStar 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 18:55

what's your crickets name?

stfuevily 1

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:31

thats just ******* sad

Lisa_Gaskarth_fml 2

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:49

I agree !

funzcpl 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:45

I agree with #4. the cricket has his own problems.

fearfulsymmetry 1

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:45

A conversation implies that the cricket spoke back to you. He didn't.

funhun123 0

Wednesday 3 November 2010 19:58

This is the first step of a sex offender's path

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Money Annoying Friends Shopping Awkward Embarrassing Love Dance Birthday Surprise Relatable Food Instagram Social Media Animals Dogs Cute Technology Work Intimacy Kids Sex Relationship advice Roommate Allergies Pranks Cats Parents Thief

The Top

Today, I got piss drunk. Being a tattoo artist, I came to the intoxicated conclusion that I could save much more money doing my own tattoos on myself. I now have my ex-boyfriend's name permanently on my thigh. It's not even spelled right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 539

You deserved it 65 038

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 860

You deserved it 3 005

The Top

Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 689

You deserved it 2 462

Today, my mother-in-law complained to me about the cost of getting old. She then spent an hour showing me her River Cruise vacation photos from several countries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 599

You deserved it 330

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 858

You deserved it 18 704

Today, my husband is very liberal. Normally this is a good thing, but the people across the street have put out a TRUMP sign and he's gone nuts. He built a massive HARRIS/WALZ sign in our front yard and is hassling the rest of the neighborhood about it. Half of them are putting out TRUMP signs out of spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 463

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 829

You deserved it 42 754

Today, I parked and noticed a car that was identical to mine across from me. I thought it was an amusing coincidence until I came back to find both cars trashed. At least the vandal realized their mistake and left a note saying, "You deserve it for having the same car as that cheater, asshole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 432

You deserved it 2 851