Love: Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound....

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 5 332

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Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 599

Flatulophobia

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 07:01 - United States - Watford City

Today, while in bed with my husband, we were discussing our fears. Mine being the Doomsday Clock. He giggled and made me feel silly about my (rational if you ask me) fear. I let out a tiny toot, and he jumped and screamed bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 9 415

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 236

You deserved it 1 537

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 111

You deserved it 41 510

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 970

You deserved it 12 961

By embarrassed2 - 24/01/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 4 794

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

Frickmetinajenks 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:03

Lol, get used to it. It won't be as funny a couple years into marriage.

TheB0a 5

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:22

The giggles is what makes this funny. Who giggles after supposedly ******** their pants, lolZ.

Comments

Darrian_Garrett 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 3:25

That's a good guy right there.

life_lol 0

Thursday 3 February 2011 10:58

true love

skittles1300 0

Friday 4 February 2011 9:54

ok thats gross and a bit werid but u gotta admit that its pretty funny

journeyoflife 0

Friday 4 February 2011 14:15

hahahahahahahaha. gross.

k9obsessed 5

Saturday 5 February 2011 6:13

Lmao more proof that men never really grow up.

Lauraaaaax94 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 13:49

this made me lol so loud

hippychiccx 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 17:38

This is honestly something my boyfriend and my father would do.

cupcake112397 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 20:30

hahahaha

ScreamMeALuvSong 2

Wednesday 16 February 2011 4:38

LMAO!!! That's ******* great.

zingerspaniel 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 0:10

***** n' giggles !

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The Top

Today, as a teacher, I was grading some essays when I yet again came across the word "unalive" when discussing the assassinations of JFK and Abraham Lincoln. As in, "JFK was unalived." I know language inevitably mutates over time, but us teachers don't have demonetization filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 74

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly ran across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family who owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 352

You deserved it 5 958

The Top

Today, my mom called asking for advice on how to flirt with her personal trainer. I thought she was joking and asked her what Dad would think. Turns out they're getting divorced. They decided this three weeks ago. No one told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 963

You deserved it 2 102

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 787

You deserved it 59 111

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 483

You deserved it 2 278

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 293

You deserved it 365

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 362

You deserved it 13 426

Today, I took my motorbike out for the first time ever, after having waited for five weeks for it to be returned from the mechanics. Three hours later and I crashed after getting caught in the rain and hitting an oil patch on the road. Looks like I won't be riding until it's fixed. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 207

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

Single shot

Flatulophobia

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