Love: Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound....

By Anonymous - 01/02/2011 13:43 - United States

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 149

You deserved it 5 332

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Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 254

Single shot

By irulan - 14/01/2020 03:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 599

Flatulophobia

By Anonymous - 18/12/2021 07:01 - United States - Watford City

Today, while in bed with my husband, we were discussing our fears. Mine being the Doomsday Clock. He giggled and made me feel silly about my (rational if you ask me) fear. I let out a tiny toot, and he jumped and screamed bloody murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 226

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 15:50 - United States

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 536

You deserved it 9 415

By sleepylillion - 25/04/2016 05:07 - United States - Eleele

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend chuckling to himself. Turns out he had just clogged the toilet. When he called maintenance, halfway through explaining the problem he started hysterically giggling and had to hang up mid-sentence. This has been a reoccurring theme. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 236

You deserved it 1 537

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 111

You deserved it 41 510

By Mel - 07/05/2011 22:27 - United States

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 970

You deserved it 12 961

By embarrassed2 - 24/01/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 966

You deserved it 4 794

By Secretlypossessed - 29/10/2018 03:00

Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 974

You deserved it 293

By fartz - 31/08/2013 06:04 - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 520

You deserved it 8 107

Frickmetinajenks 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:03

Lol, get used to it. It won't be as funny a couple years into marriage.

TheB0a 5

Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:22

The giggles is what makes this funny. Who giggles after supposedly ******** their pants, lolZ.

Comments

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:22

Love is truly blind.

Bertj 5

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:24

Someone give that man a medal please. xD

dandawg69 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:41

^^^^ yes hahahaha

elliemcneill 5

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:29

That man is a complete hero! i laughed for ages at this :L

ThreeDaysGrace1 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:31

Just be glad he's not a humorless, stuck-up prick.

TakeOneLastBreat_fml 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:39

things could be worse. he could be abusive.

LoveMySoldier82 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 15:54

Way to take it to a whole new level.

JRoBB45 0

Saturday 19 February 2011 12:33

it's called an anti joke...

Sammansix 3

Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:50

Shitty situation.

doublewide420 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 21:00

lmao hahaha, he's a keeper.

ipapix 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 21:04

lmfao, & why did he shit himself?

NINJAPROTOTYPE10 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 21:34

i dont see how you could think all think this is funny... he didnt just fart. he shit himself. he delivered the brown baby in bed... not funny

LucaCoffey 6

Saturday 21 July 2012 1:21

Well when you put it like that.....

ritchgirl1 0

Tuesday 1 February 2011 21:44

hahaaa!!

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The Top

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair, and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 271

You deserved it 30 148

Today, my girlfriend won't stop complaining about the recent lack of intimacy in our relationship. There's an easy solution to this problem, but I'm currently covered in poison ivy rashes and she refuses to let me touch her until they clear up. Guess I'd better get used to itching and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 215

The Top

Today, everyone in my department got a raise except for me. Last week, I had been the one who asked for a raise for me and my fellow department members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 709

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 203

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 135

You deserved it 29 320

Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 2 992

Today, my aunt had to smuggle me some regular toothpaste. Why? My mom isn't letting anyone in our house use anything but "Coral Paste." There are actually lumps of coral in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 446

You deserved it 2 830

Today me and my boyfriend were in an adventurous sexual position and as I started to orgasm he slipped, landed awkwardly and dislocated both my hips, while I was in the middle of an orgasm. Somehow the pleasure of the orgasm made the pain worse. I don't think I'll ever want sex again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 719

You deserved it 439

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

Single shot

Flatulophobia

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