Health: Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light...

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 332

You deserved it 14 194

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Same thing different taste

By Till We Pass Out - 03/10/2015 15:30 - United Kingdom - Halifax

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 667

You deserved it 5 306

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 985

You deserved it 4 838

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 785

You deserved it 21 626

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 869

You deserved it 3 163

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 491

You deserved it 7 423

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 263

You deserved it 4 970

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 608

You deserved it 860

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 652

You deserved it 46 034

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 262

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 608

pulse18 2

Saturday 14 May 2011 16:15

whoa! I'm taking a dump right now too! 

spaz617 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 16:15

Someone needs more fiber in their diet...

Comments

onthetoilet 3

Sunday 15 May 2011 7:42

hey dont worry shit happens:)

TeflonNinja 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 8:27

Did you get winded wiping your ass?

luisit11 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 8:30

epic

sweeetas 5

Sunday 15 May 2011 13:14

did you wake up feeling like shit?? ;)

EarAcheMyEYE10 2

Sunday 15 May 2011 19:23

moron

jjboy157 2

Sunday 15 May 2011 19:46

why were you ******** on the floor? are you a dog?

nismo_r2 5

Sunday 15 May 2011 20:41

lulz the vagus nerve !!!

jester_77 2

Monday 16 May 2011 3:22

I laughed so hard reading this lol. That sucked I bet. Ain't laughing at ya, I just find it funny *shrugs*

xdannyx117x 0

Monday 16 May 2011 8:16

agreed and 15 and 30 are pretty dam cute

mrsHolyMonster 6

Tuesday 17 May 2011 16:56

seriously I can't stop laughing at this post. It's hilarious. *lol*

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Today, I had a job interview at a Holiday Inn. I got there ten minutes early and sat until 1:00 p.m., then told the person at the front desk I was there for my interview. She called the manager, who said that no interviews were scheduled today. I'd gone to the wrong Holiday Inn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 1 694

Today, I made the coolest platonic friend who I really liked. She liked me too, until I accidentally found her setting up an OnlyFans and, in a fit of feeling very weird about it, confronted her. Now she won't talk to me at all and has blocked me on every single online platform you could imagine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 2 577

The Top

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 113

You deserved it 6 231

Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 184

You deserved it 190

Today, I was fired from my new job before my first paycheck for taking 2 days off. I took 2 days off because my father got drunk and totaled my car, leaving me with no transportation, a hospitalized dad, property damage, and no money to pay for it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 493

You deserved it 500

Today, I found out I will be without a car for two weeks because my mother volunteered to let my grandparents use mine while theirs is being repaired. They've been in 4 accidents over the last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 962

You deserved it 416

Today, my grandma saw me putting some mints in my mouth when she walked by my room. Instead of confronting me, she told my dad I was doing drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 717

You deserved it 1 300

Today, my girlfriend tearfully complained that I was smothering her to death with my clinginess, and that I should learn to respect her boundaries. This is after she complained I wasn't giving her enough attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 894

You deserved it 5 089

Same thing different taste

Wardrobe change please

10 out 10 for execution

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