Health: Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light... - FML

By BrownDump - 14/05/2011 10:43 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 327

You deserved it 14 193

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Same thing different taste

By Till We Pass Out - 03/10/2015 15:30 - United Kingdom - Halifax

Today, I was pushing so hard to take a number two that I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 661

You deserved it 5 303

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 18:18 - Netherlands - Den Dungen

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 983

You deserved it 4 835

By B-ran - 05/01/2010 00:29 - France

Today, I was taking a dump at the Home Depot. After I was finished, I was bent over and pulling the toilet paper out of the holder. I pulled too hard, causing the dispenser lid to fling open and smack me on the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 783

You deserved it 21 622

By Anonymous - 20/08/2010 18:40 - United States

Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 863

You deserved it 3 162

By sadface - 04/01/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, I pulled a hamstring by taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 489

You deserved it 7 422

By pooplife - 30/11/2014 19:32 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 260

You deserved it 4 968

By Preggo - 10/12/2016 01:51

Today, I vomited so hard into the toilet that the water splashed back into my face. I instinctually moved away only to finish puking on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 602

You deserved it 860

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

Wardrobe change please

By Meagan Ortiz - 16/08/2020 23:02

Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 260

10 out 10 for execution

By Anonymous - 30/08/2020 13:01 - Australia - Liverpool

Today, I had to squat to retrieve something from the bottom of the cabinet in the bathroom. This caused me to fart and startle myself enough that I jumped and banged my forehead on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 255

You deserved it 608

Next

Top comments

pulse18 2

Saturday 14 May 2011 16:15

whoa! I'm taking a dump right now too! 

spaz617 0

Saturday 14 May 2011 16:15

Someone needs more fiber in their diet...

Comments

Monii_Harlz 11

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:43

shame! you should have just Mayb taken it slow instead of giving birth to a giant terd

milesrook 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:47

try child birth

Honda288 2

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:50

I seriously doubt that that is normal. You may have issues.

moofleputz 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 4:59

any1 else opened this FML just to see what ever1luvsboners commented?

abceasyas123abc 12

Sunday 15 May 2011 5:14

Three or four prunes after dinner should do the trick in the future!

matildalillyysto 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 6:28

that's kinda weird

KatieKarnival 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 6:38

Like a boss.

spearodude 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 7:13

happens to the best of us. don't take it personally.

Thtguyukno 2

Sunday 15 May 2011 7:16

Damn, it's a shit, not childbirth. XD

kgreen07 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 7:36

it is called 'vagaling out.' bearing down causes vagal nerve stimulation causing a decrease in blood pressure which can lead to a syncopal episode, aka passing out. it isn't uncommon but it is dangerous to bear down that strong if u have certain health problems, especially heart problems. just FYI

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Relatable Coworkers Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

Today, I demanded to know why my boyfriend takes so long in public toilets. He admitted his ex was such a nasty ho, she would drag him into public toilets whenever she wanted dick in public. So now every time he goes in one, he gets a boner and has to "get rid of it" before he can come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 350

The Top

Today, I got all the way until after lunch before I realized my new pants were basically leggings, and that you could see my pink thong through them. I was in a training with a bunch of the guys that work the production floor, and I’m pretty sure they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 200

You deserved it 480

Today, at my cousin's baby shower, there was a discussion on what to name the baby. When the name Jacqueline was brought up, I made a face and exclaimed, "Ugh, I hate that name!" I was then informed that's the name of my cousin's mother-in-law. She definitely heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 634

You deserved it 27 621

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 486

You deserved it 6 712

Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 284

You deserved it 2 589

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 399

You deserved it 2 320

Today, while trying to explain to my friends what an anxiety attack is like, I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 046

You deserved it 2 190