Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard...

By jshi8 - 04/08/2011 14:35 - United States

Today, I was taking a dump behind a dumpster. I suddenly heard a noise and a vibration against the dumpster. It was a garbage truck lifting it to collect the trash. The garbage men started laughing and took out their phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 850

You deserved it 79 904

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Same thing different taste

Trashed

By Sailorjoe - 25/08/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I had to take out the trash at work and I kept trying to throw it in the dumpster. After five tries I finally made it in. I was feeling pretty good since the bag was heavy. That was until I turned around and saw about 30 of my coworkers applauding and laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 654

You deserved it 7 289

Bought or stolen

By dump truck hater - 03/06/2015 16:18 - United States - Austin

Today, when leaving my apartment, I instantly noticed there was a giant dump truck in our lot, which turned out to be directly behind my car. After making a 20-point escape from my parking space and getting to work late, my roommate texts me, "DUDE guess what I got last night." A giant dump truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 789

You deserved it 2 224

Hobbies

By Stinkycar - 05/06/2017 12:00

Today, it was an unusually hot day and I saw one of my friends walking down the street carrying a large bag. I stopped and asked if he needed a ride. When he got in, I noticed a horrible stench. He then told me he'd just been dumpster diving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 673

You deserved it 543

By AwwChute - 21/02/2010 01:53 - United States

Today, I got stuck in my apartment's garbage chute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 024

You deserved it 32 726

Dumpstered

By KO: - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was changing the garbage at a local fast food place where I work. Being a rather short guy, I had to lean back and fling the full, heavy bag at the top. I did so with such force that my head hit the dumpster, knocking me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 945

You deserved it 5 243

By Typrokka - 22/10/2009 17:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to drop the garbage in the compactor as I left to do some shopping. I quickly put my handbag down on the side, threw the 'garbage' in the machine, watched it do its thing, and then turned round to find... the bag of garbage on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 161

You deserved it 32 200

By badluckantonio - 25/08/2011 05:29 - Canada

Today, I was taking out the garbage at work when I slipped and fell into the garbage container. The scent was so bad that a bus driver denied me a ride home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 030

Herbie Kirby

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 12:00

Today, I was literally taking care of my coworker's garbage. Piss was dumped on me as I lifted the Herbie Kirby to the larger dumpster. What the fuck, people? Don’t literally leave your waste for others to take care of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 125

By ToiletRoll - 29/03/2015 12:49 - Australia - Frankston

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 332

You deserved it 2 751

By ugh - 03/09/2013 23:53 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I ended up taking a massive dump after being constipated for a while. I thought I was alone, so I pretended I was giving birth to my turd, and let out all kinds of sound effects. Next thing I know, I hear a knock at the door and my mom asking, "Should I call 911?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 765

You deserved it 40 918

emmiep1011 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

try a toilet next time?

nekros_fml 5

Thursday 4 August 2011 18:55

what are you doing taking a dump behind a dumpster? Were you born in a barn?

Comments

ilovemonkeybutts 23

Friday 5 September 2014 5:09

This was an adventure from beginning to end.

NostalgiaFreak9 41

Thursday 19 March 2015 20:43

You must've been down in the dumps after that. But seriously, toilets exist for a reason you know.

theroxors19 12

Monday 30 November 2015 16:21

don't pull a Trevor. never pull a Trevor

FujisakiChihiro 24

Thursday 10 March 2016 21:12

That's not why it's called a dumpster...

DMo42 14

Friday 22 September 2017 7:38

who are you... Smoky from Friday?

kevinsagirl2323 8

Monday 9 October 2017 7:14

what the he'll? who does that?

shannon2348 14

Sunday 29 December 2019 5:31

What the hell is wrong with you? Ever heard of a damn bathroom?

Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 294

You deserved it 9 654

Today, I went to my room to find my girlfriend on the floor, butt up, with her pants down. I elatedly took the invitation and dropped my pants too, only for her to tell me, "Not so fast champ, I'm trying to force some farts out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 471

The Top

Today, my supervisor at work was talking about suicide prevention and how to recognize the signs of distress in coworkers. I realized that I exhibit almost all of those signs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 129

You deserved it 114

Today, I had the pleasure of finding out how it feels to poop with 3 broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 454

You deserved it 2 267

Today, I was at my job at an old folks home, and I was cleaning off a table when one old lady looks up at me and says, "I've been a dirty, dirty girl" in a seductive tone. I thought she meant about the table so I said, "Yes you have!" She then winked at me. I walked away fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 823

You deserved it 9 629

Today, I tried the "hold on tight to your thumbs in your fists" method during a deep throat, which is supposed to prevent you from throwing up. Well, it doesn’t work. I'd eaten ratatouille. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 245

Today, I was working as a counsellor at a special needs camp when one of the parents came up to my friend and asked her what my disorder was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 893

You deserved it 3 543

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 861