Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up...

By fuckMYlife94321 - 26/04/2009 16:21 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap while my mom was at work. I woke up when she came home and didn't think anything of it so I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I went downstairs and our 52" plasma screen TV, my xbox 360, and $1500 computer were all stolen. I'm guessing that wasn't my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 869

You deserved it 13 759

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By dwhite032 - 06/06/2011 07:06 - United States

Today, I woke up to my Playstation 3 and my laptop missing and window open. My dad faked a robbery to see me freak out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 487

You deserved it 6 845

By wheatsnake - 08/10/2009 13:31 - Australia

Today, I took my new laptop into my house from my car, thinking it would be a too much of a target for kids grabbing it. I came home tonight to find my door kicked in, my laptop gone and my TV ripped from the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 177

You deserved it 2 819

By chaos2007 - 13/05/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 282

You deserved it 5 121

By pillowless - 13/10/2011 14:41 - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. The items stolen were my PS3, cell phone, laptop, tablets, and for some reason my deodorant and pillowcases as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 970

You deserved it 2 411

By missmycomp - 12/11/2009 14:36 - Singapore

Today, I returned home for the first time in a year, and found my entire computer missing. I asked my grandma about this, and she told me that she threw "the TV" away because it "no longer responded to the remote control." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 799

You deserved it 3 147

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 856

You deserved it 4 309

Mistaken identity

By Guess I was wrong - 16/03/2020 06:23

Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 749

You deserved it 425

Help yourself

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 21:08 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 324

You deserved it 2 978

By monty - 09/03/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my mom's coworkers two little boys. they went to bed around 9 and I was watching a movie on HBO. I fell asleep before the movie was over. I woke up to the parents walking into the house. I looked at the TV, and porn was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 364

You deserved it 13 427

Surprise!

By BadKitty - 11/09/2016 13:37 - Australia - Invermay

Today, I woke up to a loud bang. Thinking someone had broken in, I grabbed my hunting knife and ran downstairs, only to find my TV on the floor, completely destroyed, and my cat casually sitting next to it without a care in the world. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 939

You deserved it 1 278

breenarae25 0

Thursday 28 October 2010 7:17

where's #2??

xXMILKYCHUNKSXx 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 23:16

Your powers of observaton astound me.

Comments

qwertification 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 9:07

i think this is wat ppl wanted to happen op:HI MOM Did you get m-- who the **** are you thief:WTF (BOOM!!BOOM!!!) HEADSHOT BITCH!!!!

Mpfitz82 0

Sunday 13 March 2011 0:00

Dam man now I feel bad... Ill sell you all your stuff back for 3k... Lol

randomstudios 0

Monday 11 April 2011 3:29

your tv and computer?! that sucks. the 360 already stole your money, so meh

hockey1317 0

Thursday 2 June 2011 6:31

Look on the bright side, if you wouldve screamed "Hey mom" you wouldve been raped and murdered

blankz93 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 17:44

Good thing they took the Xbox. POS. but not the tv and computer!!

omgdoublefml 3

Tuesday 21 June 2011 20:42

And thats why I sleep with a knife on my night table and check every unusual noise. If your house was ripped when you where a kid you'd understand.

mystic_dreamer15 0

Monday 1 August 2011 3:50

wow smooth

feralpup 7

Wednesday 30 November 2011 7:35

Daaaaamn. This is why all my doors and windows are locked when i'm home alone. and why I have nice sharp arrows and a bow laying around.

MegaElectric 1

Thursday 15 March 2012 4:08

Damnit I can't find #2!

J08J 20

Friday 18 January 2013 20:01

Well, atleast now you can get an PS3.

Keywords

Lonely Awkward Love Party Cars Transportation ADHD Work Mental health Ironic Vacation Grandparents Accident Miscellaneous Annoying Kids Covid Health Shopping Cute Coworkers Dogs Animals Videos Photography Art Sex Intimacy Exhausted Money

The Top

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 115

You deserved it 5 920

Today, I had to explain to my mother that a lace mini-dress with an obscene amount of cleavage was not appropriate to wear while meeting my boyfriend's parents. She called me an "annoying prude" and said that with my attitude, I don't deserve to have a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 317

You deserved it 4 940

The Top

Today, I was texting my boyfriend. I noticed that he had added a signature onto his texts that had the date 11/10/09. At first, I blushed and thought it was the date we had become a couple. But then I realized it was just the day the new Call of Duty game comes out. Love you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 110

You deserved it 34 281

Today, I was having a romantic dinner at home with my girlfriend. Everything was perfect—candles, wine, the whole shebang. As we sat down, I felt something moving under the table. I thought it was her playing footsie. Nope, it was our cat with a very live, very tetchy mouse he'd just caught. Cue the screaming and wine spilling everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 104

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 482

You deserved it 39 330

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's scared because her period is late, and that they're usually on time. Five hours late apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 621

You deserved it 3 311

Today, I was small talking with an elderly man, who told me that nobody cares about him. Even though I had only known him for an hour, to try and make him feel a little better I told him I care about him. He then called me a creep, stomped his cane onto my foot, and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 988

You deserved it 7 213

Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he can get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 115

You deserved it 1 723

Same thing different taste

Mistaken identity

Help yourself

Surprise!

Top comments

Comments