Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere...

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 708

You deserved it 14 969

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Same thing different taste

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 943

You deserved it 61 823

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 523

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 645

You deserved it 26 669

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 958

You deserved it 54 089

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 129

You deserved it 73 406

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 650

You deserved it 46 030

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 600

You deserved it 4 048

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 135

You deserved it 47 944

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 109

You deserved it 395

Pissed

By CatDad - 18/12/2021 19:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 845

False_Stupidity 41

Saturday 17 May 2014 12:29

All you had to do was tell it to piss off! But no, you had to do it the hard way. You cocked up and now urine trouble.

maryiah 21

Saturday 17 May 2014 12:17

Hopefully this happened at home, not in a public restroom.. Sorry op

Comments

Dontalktome 9

Saturday 17 May 2014 19:04

Question.... how big was the mosquito that you can't swat it away with one hand while holding your junk with the other? Is alcohol involved In this? cause that would make so much more sense.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 17 May 2014 19:41

I am not sure what would be worse getting bitten on the dick or pissing everywhere

cryssycakesx3 22

Sunday 18 May 2014 1:24

pee washes off.

katiesha 9

Saturday 17 May 2014 19:44

if you peeed all.over your self trying to get a sketer, you might need to work on your aim.

brivielle 15

Saturday 17 May 2014 22:23

#55 OP probably wasn't trying to drown d mosquito in pee... Or was he?

brivielle 15

Saturday 17 May 2014 22:24

katiesha 9

Monday 19 May 2014 23:15

idk either way he still got pee all over himself... wouldn't be surprised if the skeeter went home pee free

joshi42 16

Saturday 17 May 2014 19:48

You should have let it land and hit it with something heavy.

Mandybruin 15

Sunday 18 May 2014 0:15

Art thou mad??

miissmm 5

Saturday 17 May 2014 20:39

It just wanted the D!

Flaptrap 8

Saturday 17 May 2014 20:59

The same thing happened to me but I didnt notice it until it landed. When I saw it on my peepee I instinctively swatted at it, hitting myself in the nuts so hard that I fell over while squirting pee everywhere.

tman1985 9

Sunday 18 May 2014 18:21

ydi

ibanghellokitty 8

Saturday 17 May 2014 21:08

O_O Lol shu fly don't bother me

Beansforbill 14

Saturday 17 May 2014 21:29

Did it still end up biting you ?

captainsmegma 12

Saturday 17 May 2014 21:31

For a mosquito? Really you'd piss all over yourself. A real man would have let him bite and then get is favorite gal to kiss it and make it all better.