Miscellaneous: Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the...

By guy - 30/07/2012 03:24 - United States - Avon Lake

Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 160

You deserved it 5 805

Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 671

You deserved it 5 206

Say it, don't spray it

By grossedout - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 386

You deserved it 3 120

By Noname - 05/03/2009 19:44 - Canada

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537 528

You deserved it 53 180

By Dr.Anonymous - 22/03/2014 11:56 - India - Mumbai

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 346

You deserved it 3 776

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 091

You deserved it 40 034

Thanks…

By Anonymous - 16/03/2011 12:53 - United States

Today, I had a violent coughing fit while at the store, which caused a lady to think I was choking, grab me from behind and start doing the Heimlich maneuver incorrectly. She broke two of my ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 194

You deserved it 3 954

Germ warfare

By kallens - 17/01/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 791

You deserved it 2 557

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 798

You deserved it 350

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 937

You deserved it 44 867

By Kylie - 26/01/2010 16:13 - United States

Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 008

You deserved it 28 645

ifoundalaska 11

Monday 30 July 2012 9:26

That is definitely one of the most grotesque things I have ever heard in my nineteen years of living.

Molzen 3

Monday 30 July 2012 9:26

You should have at least tried waking him up or checking his pulse first..

Comments

sandinthewaves 5

Monday 30 July 2012 15:42

That's why the first thing you do when you come up to a casualty is check to see if they are responsive.

m1989_fml 10

Monday 30 July 2012 15:43

This seriously made me gag and almost throw up, and I have a pretty strong stomach.

GreekMarine 2

Monday 30 July 2012 15:47

If you were a good RN you'd know to follow your safety guidelines and not to put your unprotected mouth on a stranger. Have fun with AIDS genius.

whfirefighter42 1

Monday 30 July 2012 16:01

This is fake but if it's real then you totally deserve it. A registered nurse would 1. Know better than to do mouth to mouth. 2. He/she would have checked for a pulse first. 3. He/she would have also tried everything including a painful stimulus to wake up this person before beginning CPR.

shadowPlayer 6

Monday 30 July 2012 16:02

This is why you check their airway first. And use a breathing device.

katie887 2

Monday 30 July 2012 16:05

Just FYI- new CPR protocol for BLS and ACLS suggests against mouth to mouth to protect the provider. Next time stick to compressions!!

KissMyGeek 2

Monday 30 July 2012 16:34

No nurse would begin CPR on a random person without a proper barrier!

missmonkie 16

Monday 30 July 2012 16:35

You are s dumb ass. The first thing you learn in CPR, never just perform it on anyone lying on the street! Shake them and ask they're ok. You need a refresher course. STAT!

whitecloud197 0

Monday 30 July 2012 16:51

OMG YOUR AN IDIOT you tried to give him CPR without checking for a pulse or even if he was really unconcious and your a nurse ? wtf !!

mkoby 1

Monday 30 July 2012 17:00

Anyone who paid attention during CPR training knows that you first check for signs of life, ie a pulse and breathing. They also now have changed the standards to exclude the mouth to mouth component. A competent nurse wouldn't just start pounding on someone's chest or breathing for them without assessing.