Love: Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally...

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 16:46 - Ireland - Bagenalstown

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 134

You deserved it 14 868

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 327

You deserved it 4 382

Belch monster

By gross - 23/05/2021 02:00

Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 264

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 152

You deserved it 2 537

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 314

You deserved it 5 072

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 474

You deserved it 8 533

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 653

You deserved it 38 129

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 598

You deserved it 1 058

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 385

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 339

You deserved it 32 302

Uber stank

By Not your scapegoat - 09/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 155

ilovesuju 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:16

the fart fmls are always the funniest

SandiRainbowFish 20

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:18

Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!

Comments

gman90210 18

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:29

Ya ok like he has never done the same thing? Right

Angel157 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:29

What an ass!!! You should dump him! He doesn't deserve you if he can't handle that fact that you are human and have bodily functions.

rolls_royce 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:35

I hate to say it but it seems the ones who say stuff like "I hate drama" are the ones creating it. It was your choice to date the guy so you should have gotten to know him better first. You deserve it....

Discombobulated9 12

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:05

You never truly get to know someone until you have dated them for a while. What did you expect her to ask? "Would it bother you if I farted?"

22cute 17

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:20

Uh...how is a little accidental toot "creating drama"?! She probably thought he wouldn't hear over the phone anyway. That's NOT drama. That's life. Making a big issue of it IS drama.

Yellow_Fish79 11

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:42

My parents fart infront of eachother all the time and laugh about it. Best marriage evar.

dunker_fml 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:46

He was just looking for an excuse, any excuse, move on.

itsme1321 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 15:53

My thoughts EXACTLY! My brother once broke up with a girl because she left toast crumbs in the butter :0 When you're done, you're done & any little thing turns into the last straw lol!

shrdlu 28

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:53

Like my grandmother always used to say, "If you gotta fart, do it well." The trouble was, she ALWAYS said that. "Grandma, would you like some more potatoes?" "If you gotta fart, do it well." Or: "Grandma, where's Grandpa?" "If you gotta fart, do it well," For the last eight years of her life, that was the only thing anybody could ever get her to say.

GhettoMuzick 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:11

I like your grandma. If I ever farted in front of my grandma, she'd look at me as if I set her house on fire or something.

Harpy20 24

Sunday 3 June 2012 4:54

Just leave him be. Find a mature guy.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:04

Sounds like somebody has such an amazing sense of humor!! Kind of a douche move on his part!

GhettoMuzick 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:07

Well on the brightside, you saved yourself from a crappy relationship.

noYOUdo2much 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:09

Damn, people are really in support of you farting! He just wanted to be single. Now he can spend more time clenching his his ass cheeks together atop his ”my shit smells like roses” high horse. You're better off!