Love: Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally...

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 16:46 - Ireland - Bagenalstown

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 14 878

Valentine's Day: Love and Maladresse
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 4 385

Belch monster

By gross - 23/05/2021 02:00

Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 268

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 155

You deserved it 2 537

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 321

You deserved it 5 075

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 479

You deserved it 8 536

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 38 136

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 602

You deserved it 1 060

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 386

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 341

You deserved it 32 312

Uber stank

By Not your scapegoat - 09/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 156

ilovesuju 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:16

the fart fmls are always the funniest

SandiRainbowFish 20

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:18

Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!

Comments

soonernut 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:35

I like a girl who farts.

Bekll 31

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:34

That'd be all girls.

helpme37 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:40

Single women don't fart! We don't have Assholes until we either date one or marry one!!!

thatoneguy79 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:41

It sounds like you have a pretty good method for weeding out the arses and idiots. You know that if they can't handle a little gas they certainly can't handle the rest of you. Now we just need some way to mark them, so your time isn't waisted and other ladies in your area can help out to... I know; we can attach a dangly thing to their pelvic area. If you find a guy with a dangled, you know he's been checked and confirmed to be an idiot.

Lookinforlove10 1

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:45

And im sure he farts in front of.you all the time...jerk-off...

Morella 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 7:47

I'm rather surprised that everyone is picking up on your arrogance, rather than your flaw. A statement placed between two commas is one that may be omitted from the text. "... I, being a smart guy, has ..." "... I has..." You has no claim to smrts.

doubleroses 3

Sunday 3 June 2012 9:04

Maybe you are a pig. Act like a lady and you'd get treated like one. He wasn't and isn't wrong whatsoever. I'd do the same thing!

truerebel 1

Sunday 3 June 2012 9:26

Well depending on how long you were dating him, maybe next time we don't fart in front of a guy so soon?

wdawson1970 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 9:52

You deserve it you pig, I leave women for that as its rude and disgusting!

acetheone 8

Sunday 3 June 2012 10:05

what category was it and how much did it measure on the rector scale?

SoultheWolf 19

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:01

Your boyfriend is an idiot. It is a natural bodily function to release gas. Just because it is a taboo that women don't fart doesn't mean they don't. They are just more selfconsious about it, trying not to do so in public. If he can't respect that then he doesn't deserve you. I garentee he releases his farts in public, as do most men.