Love: Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally...

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 16:46 - Ireland - Bagenalstown

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone, when I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart. He swore at me for being a pig, hung up, and has ignored all my subsequent calls. I try not to date idiots, but it's like I have a big old shithead-attracting magnet attached to me or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 139

You deserved it 14 878

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 334

You deserved it 4 385

Belch monster

By gross - 23/05/2021 02:00

Today, while on a date with an amazing guy, I burped. He called me a disgusting pig and immediately left. I have burped a total of three times in my life and have therefore never learned how to control it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 268

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 155

You deserved it 2 537

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 321

You deserved it 5 075

By GasAttack - 07/09/2009 13:32 - Canada

Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 479

You deserved it 8 536

By StinkyandStupid - 15/03/2012 17:49 - United States

Today, I was calling my husband while driving. While the phone rang, I farted. As soon as the horrid smell hit my nose, my husband answered. I panicked and hung up quickly, thinking to myself how embarrassed I was because he could smell it. I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 655

You deserved it 38 136

By Anonymous - 17/06/2017 22:00 - United States - Holland

Today, after an argument, my boyfriend called me a fart knocker and gave me a wedgie. Apparently, I'm dating an 10-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 602

You deserved it 1 060

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 386

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 341

You deserved it 32 312

Uber stank

By Not your scapegoat - 09/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend let out a vile fart in an Uber. It stank so bad, the driver threatened to kick us out. She blamed it on me and called me a pig. Then, she ripped another one, and he actually did kick us out. She had the nerve to act hurt when I called a second Uber only for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 611

You deserved it 156

ilovesuju 10

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:16

the fart fmls are always the funniest

SandiRainbowFish 20

Sunday 3 June 2012 3:18

Wow, like he never farts. What an ass. You deserve better, OP!

Comments

vbmg152 18

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:29

You're supposed to be a lady! Act like one!

THE_A_TEEN 27

Sunday 3 June 2012 6:42

You must be some strange breed of a humanoid being to not have an anus and fart.

HeartOfLead 24

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:32

Enjoy really enjoyed reading this. The "shit-head" metaphor was inspiring.

jcmjr 4

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:35

I hope he inhaled that shit thru the phone that wuss like if his ass blows in and not out!!!????

Sugah_Shane1 2

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:43

I definitely fart but i have never farted loud enough to be heard over the phone. That's gross. Sorry but you know when your going to and you can do something to hide it. Iv held farts till it hurts around girlfriends they can do the same for me

Bekll 31

Sunday 3 June 2012 11:10

You can't always control bodily functions. And why is it gross if 1) It's natural and 2) He couldn't smell it as he was over the phone?

mvems 13

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:44

Awe:( cheer up. When do date a cool chick you'll be stoked, she'll be worth the wait. ;)

pennylane18240 0

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:53

Obviously the guys immature as hell and bet he wouldnt care if he did it i hate double standards..dont even stress bout the loser.

afropuffjake 9

Sunday 3 June 2012 5:59

To be fair he may have been talking about something serious... I'm pretty immature so fart humor still is entertaining for me but it can also be disrespectful. The only reason I love it when my girl rips one is because of how she reacts when I do. It's almost like she's discovering her full capability XD. Either way you're better off without him if you can't let loose around him you'll never be comfortable enough with him to do ANYTHING.