Love: Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway...

By brob56 - 23/04/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, I was talking to my hot neighbor. We were in the driveway of her house, and I looked at her car and noticed a hideous dummy. It was fat and just ugly, but I didn't think much of it. I tried to make a joke and asked, "Where did you get that awful thing?" She said, "That's my daughter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 848

You deserved it 82 746

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, I was on a first date with this girl I've been talking to. I met her and she came with me so I could park my car in the student lot. On the way back, I saw a beat up car with its window duct taped up and exclaimed "Haha! Look at that piece of junk." It was her car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 643

You deserved it 39 067

By biggmouth - 26/03/2009 22:44 - United States

Today, my teacher was giving a lecture about human genetics and how they are passed on to children. She projected a large picture of a baby on to the screen in the front of the room. I then joked about how this ugly baby must have some very unattractive parents. It was her baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 358

You deserved it 119 754

By Anonymous - 02/08/2014 00:20 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, my dad was doing FaceTime with a friend. He turned his iPhone towards my sister and said "There's my daughter..." He then turned it to me and said "...and there's my ugly son", then walked away. I'm still not sure if it's a joke or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 321

You deserved it 3 887

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 137

You deserved it 3 515

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 086

You deserved it 4 449

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 653

You deserved it 43 809

Nope, not me

By mycar - 20/08/2013 17:40 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented, "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 970

You deserved it 6 301

Play it cool

By NathanPlays - 23/04/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 100

You deserved it 20 255

By Bullet - 13/08/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 280

You deserved it 3 373

Thanks

By Miami6and3 - 26/08/2013 18:22 - United States - Pasadena

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I didn't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 488

You deserved it 5 318

DarthFurby 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:12

you were STANDING IN THE DRIVEWAY and you couldn't see that it was a real person? YDI

Jasper_fml 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:10

you deserved it, ********.

Comments

Kx09 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:50

woooow, I agree with #4. that was jerky.... also, you just described her mother as 'hot' & you thought her daughter was dummy?

quantumoftruth 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 12:55

so how olds the daughter? seems you blew it with your neighbour, consolation prize is in order

dancercuity922 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:11

r u retarded?....seriously

xxwilkywayxx 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:12

Today, I was sitting in the car, looking at my mother talking to the annoying neighbor kid. He looked at me and then back at my mother and said, "Where did you get that awful thing." My mother replied, "That is my daughter." I was just called an awful "thing." Apparently, I am not even human anymore. FML

z0mbie_9ine 0

Monday 24 August 2009 22:42

I feel bad for laughing at this.

xobarbienickkxo 4

Monday 19 March 2012 1:58

I dont

56578 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:24

I guess you're the dummy...

ncvolley123 8

Sunday 25 July 2010 4:27

totes

asxp10 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:45

As said in some other FMLs, anyone notice that there are so many FMLs with "Today, I tried to flirt with someone and made a jackass comment about someone/thing trying to be cool. It turns out they were related/it was theirs. FML" You totally deserved it douche bag.

scp327 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:04

good nob numbnuts. who the **** has a dummy sitting in thier car? now your an asshole and a ******* moron. think about things before you say stupid retarded ass comments

pheebs314 17

Sunday 2 December 2012 5:17

My neighbor keeps a dummy of an old woman in the backseat of his show car so he can pretend to chauffeur it around...

TryToBeKind 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 14:55

If you don't know, it's better not to ask in the first place. You could have said, "who's taht?" and if she replied w a name/ID of a real person, you're fine. If she said, "It's not even a person, it's a dummy" you could have saved yourself by replying, "Hey, dummies have feelings too!" and played it off like you were kidding. But really? That's her fault for letting her daughter be that ugly anyway. Daughter is likely getting picked on in school for it and needs to learn that *gasp* she should not be ugly if she doesn't want that problem. SHE deserved it (the mom), not you.