Intimacy: Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused...

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By Oops - 26/09/2011 15:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 963

You deserved it 7 847

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Same thing different taste

By fishruinsex - 08/12/2010 08:46

Today, I was messing around in my boyfriend's pants while watching TV. He was totally absorbed in the fishing show that was on. When the guy lost a fish, he got so disappointed that he became completely flaccid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 378

You deserved it 6 006

Moving

By happyasaclam - 19/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 107

You deserved it 6 056

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, I started hooking up with a guy I've liked for a while. We got pretty into it and he went into my underwear, looking confused. When I asked him what was wrong, his response was: "I can't find it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 700

You deserved it 5 071

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 713

You deserved it 9 312

By horny21 - 21/02/2010 08:19 - Canada

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 547

You deserved it 4 042

Expectations

By Anonymous - 02/01/2022 05:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I are on vacation. He was watching TV, and I thought I’d try to be sexy, so I walked in wearing lingerie. He smiled at me and said, “What the hell are you wearing?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 224

DJ Perfectionist

By ImOverHere - 02/09/2012 16:56 - United States - Whitehouse

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend with candles and a sexy outfit. When he came in, he insisted that we needed music to help set the mood. Thirty minutes later, he's still searching for a song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 061

You deserved it 3 111

Caught in the act

By MeAgainDr - 08/08/2023 04:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was taking advantage of an empty house to try and re-spark my sex drive. Despite my best efforts, I got bored and started watching something else, but when my housemate returned suddenly, I panicked - gave a guilty shout and fumbled my dick away as I changed the monitor over - back to porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 792

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 5 725

That was quick

By Anonymous - 09/09/2012 12:03 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 582

You deserved it 6 836

CryMoreFMLs 14

Monday 26 September 2011 19:10

Fun Sized: Not so fun for everybody. Warning: Funsized might be too small to handle.

every1luvsboners 11

Monday 26 September 2011 19:10

It was tucked into his shoe. It's an old trick so that it doesn't fall out of his pants leg and drag on the ground.

Comments

bubo_fml 10

Monday 26 September 2011 19:32

Weird, you take postage packages to the pictures?

dcg1375 7

Tuesday 27 September 2011 1:14

WHAT???

tweetbaby14 18

Tuesday 27 September 2011 20:11

So.... That wasn't very funny or clever. -100 points.

Flamedude101 4

Monday 26 September 2011 19:34

Looks like big things dont come in small packages ;)

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 26 September 2011 20:10

Ah, but sometimes they do!

coldsteele152 1

Monday 26 September 2011 19:35

Must have been cold then

perdix 29

Monday 26 September 2011 19:58

Yes. And there was significant shrinkage!

alstbv12 13

Monday 26 September 2011 23:10

Girls know about shrinkage right?!

mistersheezy 7

Monday 26 September 2011 19:36

I pity the fool!

marpay 11

Monday 26 September 2011 19:37

Maybe he's a grower not a show-er but when it's time to show he sure does grow?

BrownSugar_fml 5

Monday 26 September 2011 19:41

Is he a turtle? :D

NPN_Scorpio 16

Monday 26 September 2011 19:44

ooo, dolphin boy!

lonewolf5755 5

Monday 26 September 2011 19:53

if he's that small don't walk away run away. you'll be happier in the long run

DjeePee 24

Monday 26 September 2011 19:54

I bet he was wearing jeans. Those sneaky bastards can hide a penis fantasticly.

theghost1309 11

Monday 26 September 2011 19:56

You couldn't find it? It's not like he moved it to a different part of the body. And you don't have to directly stimulate it to get it aroused.

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