Transportation: Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use...

By Anonymous - 12/08/2011 10:40 - Australia

Today, I was using a public urinal when a man came up to use the one next to me. As he approached, he said, "Friendly spy plane inbound" and pretended to look at my knob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 162

You deserved it 2 974

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By longest minute - 25/05/2016 11:28 - United States - Cypress

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 725

You deserved it 2 676

By toosmall - 31/01/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 608

You deserved it 2 609

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Dude! Boundaries!

By devinbyrne - 05/03/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 743

You deserved it 3 761

By Anna - 13/07/2013 04:40 - United States - New York

Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 334

You deserved it 3 222

By DrewK - 14/05/2013 20:09 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 526

Stranger danger

By Anonymous - 20/11/2014 16:35 - United States - Calhoun

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 2 814

By not cool - 28/06/2013 05:16 - Australia - Sunnybank

Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 825

You deserved it 3 178

By fviz - 07/02/2013 09:51 - United States

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 176

You deserved it 2 805

By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - 07/08/2013 22:00 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 599

You deserved it 4 048

smashingdiscover 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:48

Enemy spotted

annajane 0

Friday 12 August 2011 18:48

Pretended to? You sure about that?

Comments

Jordyn345 4

Friday 12 August 2011 19:29

How do u kno he was pretending??

krez 20

Friday 12 August 2011 19:31

You should have said "it's been diverted to Bangkok" and punched him in the junk.

mazesm 11

Friday 12 August 2011 19:31

Nice care package..!(;

dkent6251 0

Monday 15 August 2011 7:03

A hot girl that seems to be into black ops. I like it! :D

churchic 5

Friday 12 August 2011 19:33

This is AWESOME!!!!!!!! I would've died laughing, no **** of course.......

MommaMuff 6

Saturday 13 August 2011 1:47

Of course...

bgtwindaddy 0

Friday 12 August 2011 19:35

probably the funniest thing I've ever heard

SinfulTragedy 19

Friday 12 August 2011 19:37

How do you even pretend to look at something? Oh well, finish your business, walk out, and never see him again.

FLChicken 0

Friday 12 August 2011 19:40

....at least it wasn't attack dogs?

ihazpancakemix 1

Friday 12 August 2011 19:40

that's when you scream enemy napalm inbound! and piss on him :)

StRex1990 2

Friday 12 August 2011 19:52

best fml ever!

heresjuju 2

Friday 12 August 2011 19:52

Pee on him and scream, "YOU'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

Keywords

Miscellaneous Relatable Embarrassing Awkward Health Love Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Work Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Medication Dogs Animals Teenagers Ironic

The Top

Today, I got a call from a lady who said my husband died in a car accident in Miami. My husband is supposed to be at a business trip in North Carolina, so I told her it must be a mistake. Turns out it was all true. He lied about a business trip and went to Miami with his lover, who was the woman who had called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 50

USA, USA, USA; well, almost. Today we're not welcoming a French artist, not even an American artist, but an artist from... oh, you'll see! Are you in a hurry or something? Why can't we just sit down, have a nice cup of tea and talk about the future? ...

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 946

You deserved it 4 610

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years ghosted me without a word and acted like he didn't know my friend when she texted him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 009

You deserved it 93

Today, I was so lonely and bored, I thought about making the most of our current heatwave by giving myself heatstroke, just so I could talk to a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 114

You deserved it 1 160

Today, I was at work and commented on someone’s YouTube video that they sounded “so white” when pronouncing “Tacos Al Pastor.” I didn’t realize I'd used my job’s Google account to post the comment. Someone flagged my comment, and our IT department told my boss, who then fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 2 079

Today, after my girlfriend made a huge dinner, we got frisky. About 15 minutes in, I threw up the dinner she made, all over her. She hasn’t talked to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 450

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 443

You deserved it 6 568

Same thing different taste

Dude! Boundaries!

Stranger danger

Top comments

Comments