Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing...

By disturbed - 17/03/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 412

You deserved it 3 350

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Same thing different taste

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 649

You deserved it 46 028

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 618

You deserved it 2 732

I'm in a hurry

By Anonymous - 20/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 143

By amburrr - 03/08/2009 00:59 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 57 884

You deserved it 2 664

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 125

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 391

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 076

You deserved it 6 687

Dude, WTF?

By cman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 528

You deserved it 3 209

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 519

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 453

You deserved it 8 859

purplehaze980 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 9:06

I think she could have been fined for this .... ewewwwwwwww .

jdub28 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 9:07

when you have to pee... you have to pee. why did you stare long enough to notice it was a horse sized pee?

Comments

Croco83 7

Tuesday 29 November 2011 23:32

Admit it, you were turned on by it.

THeroinCZ 10

Wednesday 4 January 2012 22:57

I dont want to live on this planet anymore...

Dc040583 6

Saturday 7 January 2012 10:02

Hey, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

alsgirl 24

Friday 13 January 2012 23:13

Feral!

billyme 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:11

I can't un-read this.

billyme 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 3:11

I can't un-read this.

kaylakristine94 4

Thursday 26 April 2012 3:45

That not only sucks for u but is gross..In public?

Kiyaralovestolol 14

Monday 26 November 2012 13:06

THE HORROR

angeljade1234 22

Monday 8 July 2013 15:45

Ewww, sorry you had to see that OP

KittyChesire 12

Wednesday 19 March 2014 21:30

What.the.actual.****!

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Scary Mental health Parents Creepy Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Public freakouts Mother in law Weddings

The Top

Hi gang! My name is Julien and I’m very happy to be with you for this week’s brand new illustrated FML. I’m so happy, I feel like rolling about like a turtle. This week, we’re trying something different. As you may know, FML was originally ...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Today, it's been a few months ago since we finally got the divorce we’ve wanted for years. He seems to have forgotten our shared photo library as he just uploaded a bunch of photos of all his disgusting sexual exploits, including the threesome he always wanted. Meanwhile, I can’t get so much as a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 235

The Top

Today, I was supposed to have a hospital appointment I've been waiting three months for, but they changed it to a phone call. The call consisted of the consultant asking questions and saying, "Yes, I see that in your notes", before concluding I need to a physical appointment and booking one… for three months' time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 61

Today, I wanted to prove to my dad that I can drive, so that he'd let me use his car in future. Let's just say I helped him remove the fence that he was planning to repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 156

You deserved it 18 966

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 4 832

Today, I was in my Cosmetic Application class, and we were about to apply foundation to our models. I walk over to my friend and say, "Wow, that foundation is really orange and blotchy." Then the model turns to me and says, "Actually, we haven't started yet… that's just my skin." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 920

You deserved it 58 355

Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 814

You deserved it 228

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 631

You deserved it 11 407