Miscellaneous: Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing...

By disturbed - 17/03/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street when I heard a loud splashing noise to my right. I looked over only to see a woman not squatting but bending over, spreading her cheeks, peeing a horse-sized amount of pee. I can't un-see this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 412

You deserved it 3 350

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Same thing different taste

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 649

You deserved it 46 028

By Oh dear - 05/07/2012 22:15 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines - Kingstown

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 618

You deserved it 2 732

I'm in a hurry

By Anonymous - 20/01/2020 20:00

Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 143

By amburrr - 03/08/2009 00:59 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 57 884

You deserved it 2 664

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/10/2022 02:00

Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truckstop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud, that I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 125

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 391

By Anonymous - 08/06/2014 02:34 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 076

You deserved it 6 687

Dude, WTF?

By cman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Romania

Today, I was walking past a group of old men exiting a building. All of a sudden, I heard a strange splashing sound, and discovered one of the completely inebriated men walking behind me, pissing on my boots. I sped up, but so did he, and he didn't miss once until he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 528

You deserved it 3 209

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 800

You deserved it 75 519

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 453

You deserved it 8 859

purplehaze980 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 9:06

I think she could have been fined for this .... ewewwwwwwww .

jdub28 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 9:07

when you have to pee... you have to pee. why did you stare long enough to notice it was a horse sized pee?

Comments

jake316 0

Wednesday 2 June 2010 3:05

if she was young and hot then i wish i was there to see her stand up

dopebaby420 0

Thursday 8 July 2010 9:11

Brutal.

finallyfreemaria 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 7:17

i'm sorry I shouldn't use my yard as a bathroom :D

breenarae25 0

Friday 17 September 2010 11:18

LOL!!! now I can't get the picture of what it looked like for you... :(

b00z3nw33d 0

Saturday 12 February 2011 8:03

whip out your dick and jerk it man thats free ****

DynamicDave 11

Tuesday 19 April 2011 20:05

^ Win! haha

miss2kute31 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 17:05

"I heard a loud splashing noise to my right," who pees "loud?"

cassidy_bright 0

Tuesday 12 July 2011 15:12

Lots of people(: haha

Lucysmom1 0

Monday 5 September 2011 2:26

Ew!! That's just nasty

madaoxsan 9

Monday 26 September 2011 19:20

@122 that awesome joke is wasted upon these (american) kids

courk94 6

Friday 11 November 2011 16:25

Oh Dude ! That's torturous ! *_*

Keywords

Gross Animals Cats Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Kids Scary Mental health Parents Creepy Miscellaneous Cold weather Embarrassing Dating Tinder Love Work Cute Transportation Cops Awkward Sports Crush Teachers Education AITA Public freakouts Mother in law Weddings

The Top

Today, I explained to my husband how much it bothers me when he constantly talks about one of his coworkers. He listened closely, never interrupted me, and seemed genuinely sorry afterwards. While he was consoling me and telling me that he'll stop, he called me by her name… three different times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 54

Today, I got back from my honeymoon. Return flights from Australia to New Zealand? $1,800. A week’s accomodation in another country? $1,500. Busting my new husband finger banging a barmaid by the public pool? Fucking priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 196

The Top

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 495

You deserved it 5 115

Today, my in-laws invited themselves to stay at my house for a few days. They live out of state and have been self-quarantining for months. The reason for visiting? So they can throw a party for extended family at our house. Guess who'll end up doing all the work and clean up? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 226

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 123

You deserved it 13 074

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 103

You deserved it 3 058

Today, I got into my car and it wouldn't start. I noticed I had left the lights on and assumed the battery was dead. Then, I couldn't get my key out of the ignition. So, I called AAA only to have the guy put my car in park and start the engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 870

You deserved it 29 509

Today, we were building the homecoming float, the theme is Seasons of Love. We went around the yard and put random leaves on the float. My friend's dad looked at the float and said, "You do realize that's poison ivy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 808

You deserved it 30 291