Animals: Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding... - FML

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 80 943

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 661

You deserved it 5 478

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 6 934

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 300

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 809

You deserved it 4 128

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 481

You deserved it 314

By itzcorinnelove - 18/08/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 174

You deserved it 12 742

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 235

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 734

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 301

You deserved it 26 032

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 974

You deserved it 26 213

Next

Top comments

Anarchy_fml 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:12

You should have seen it coming...never develop habits like that. This will probably teach you not to...

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:17

You just brought a whole new meaning to getting shitfaced.

Comments

courk94 6

Tuesday 15 November 2011 4:28

How the **** do you manage to do such a thing ?! o_O

sidneyerykashae 0

Saturday 17 December 2011 20:17

Ewww. Thats so gross I would have puked!!

ComeAtMeBro7 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 3:37

You are stupid

pippacrawford 4

Friday 1 June 2012 8:09

This is so YDI it's not even funny. But I feel so bad for you I'm tempted to say FYL anyways. God that's so gross

Lucysky 7

Thursday 12 July 2012 6:47

You sound like a ******* moron.

ph8eyerucker 3

Tuesday 26 March 2013 22:11

Dumbass, cant fix stupid

teentee401 36

Saturday 11 May 2013 22:29

Why didn't you tie the doggy bag after you picked up the poop?

telli164 30

Thursday 6 March 2014 13:10

Yuck what the ****!

theonecasey 27

Saturday 29 March 2014 6:28

Bring the name "poop face" to another level

younging111 12

Thursday 10 December 2015 3:31

shitty face ahh

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