Animals: Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding...

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By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 778

You deserved it 80 949

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 666

You deserved it 5 482

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 837

You deserved it 6 934

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 856

You deserved it 301

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 820

You deserved it 4 130

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 489

You deserved it 314

By itzcorinnelove - 18/08/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 178

You deserved it 12 744

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 238

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 808

You deserved it 71 743

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 303

You deserved it 26 037

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 977

You deserved it 26 216

Anarchy_fml 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:12

You should have seen it coming...never develop habits like that. This will probably teach you not to...

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:17

You just brought a whole new meaning to getting shitfaced.

Comments

yoursodumb 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 20:07

HAHAHAHA YOUR SUCH AND IDIOT , PLUS WHY DO PEOPLE PICK UP THERE DOG SHIT I LET MINE SHIT WHEREVER AND I DONT PICK IT UP

SusanaSaysRawrxD 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 20:44

"your such and idiot" My such what? And my idiot? DAMMIT MAN, YOU'RE CONFUSING ME AND MY IDIOT!

Witchcraft_fml 4

Thursday 24 September 2009 21:34

He might have been beating himself over the head with his keyboard. It would explain his stupidity and why his caps lock is on.

leisl14 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 21:47

i like how your user name is spelled wrong. you should change it to "i'msodumb"

Witchcraft_fml 4

Thursday 24 September 2009 21:32

How did it taste?

renae78 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 21:56

This reeks of fakeness. First, who doesn't tie the bag of poo shut after it has contents in it? Second, you'd really have to be sucking in on that thing to get it all over your face an in your mouth..not to mention have no sense of smell.