Animals: Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding...

By doggybag - 24/09/2009 05:17 - Canada

Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 776

You deserved it 80 944

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 08:13 - United States

Today, I was walking dogs for the animal hospital I work for. I accidentally dropped the leash, and in my haste to retrieve it, I frantically grabbed the ground. I got the leash, and a handful of fresh dog poo emitted from the dog I was walking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 5 480

Handful

By Mary - 19/10/2009 01:11 - France

Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 830

You deserved it 6 934

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 300

By gera3gera - 07/10/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 810

You deserved it 4 128

By WhyMe - 27/11/2018 17:30

Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 482

You deserved it 314

By itzcorinnelove - 18/08/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 174

You deserved it 12 743

Can't see for shit

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 14:02

Today, I was out walking my dog. After he took a dump, I went to pick it up but my glasses fell right in his poop. I didn’t have tissue, just the plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 236

By jazthefish - 12/07/2010 19:42 - United States

Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 804

You deserved it 71 734

By anonymous - 09/09/2012 06:15 - United States

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 301

You deserved it 26 034

By Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 975

You deserved it 26 213

Anarchy_fml 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:12

You should have seen it coming...never develop habits like that. This will probably teach you not to...

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 24 September 2009 12:17

You just brought a whole new meaning to getting shitfaced.

Comments

mmmmallory 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 15:46

ahhhhhh gross not what I want to read first thing in the morning

eliz3 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:04

Surely this has to be fake because nobody is stupid enough to mistake an empty bag with one weighted down by dog shit.

dakrock13 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:06

you're DUMB.

pheww 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:14

omgg luckkyy that sounds delicous rightt now. ahh I needd someee!

mplsmech 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:18

Who doesn't tie the poop bag shut after you use it? Are you going to some how re-use it in the future? GROSS and FAKE.

maddog_fml 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:31

Uuuuhhh.....??? Just WOW.

catatonicsleep 17

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:44

Did you blow into it and it burst?

Nyuu_fml 12

Thursday 24 September 2009 16:48

How did you not notice the mind-blowing smell of poo? o.o

Einstein714 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 17:29

it must of been really liquid poopies and not solid log to splash up to your potty mouth

kbolt88 0

Thursday 24 September 2009 18:07

I would love to know why you absent-mindedly put a bag of dog shit up to your face. Anyone with any instincts would hold that shit far far away. YOU GOT SHIT ALL OVER YOUR FACE! and ydi.