Health: Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me...

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

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Same thing different taste

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 229

You deserved it 2 475

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 076

You deserved it 2 705

Right in the kisser

By Anonymous - 08/03/2020 20:17

Today, I was in sociology class and I raised my hand to ask a question, not realizing that the professor was right behind me. I smacked him right in the face, no doubt reducing my chances of a good grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 402

You deserved it 243

Smooth sailing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Puerto Rico

Today, I was messing around in computer class when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 327

You deserved it 27 432

By fthislyfe - 18/07/2011 07:09 - Netherlands

Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 485

You deserved it 3 829

By asshalf15 - 25/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Hacienda Heights

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 504

You deserved it 4 415

By Imwalkinghere - 04/11/2016 01:26 - United States

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 054

You deserved it 695

Move!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2009 19:11 - Italy

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 360

You deserved it 6 575

By Zizi - 04/07/2015 13:18 - Norway - Mosj?en

Today, I got punched in the face, had hair ripped out of my skull and broke a tooth on the pavement when I fell. Some guy mistook me for someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 1 758

SK8 OR DIE

By Anonymous - 15/03/2022 02:00

Today, while skating to school, I got hit by a car, In front of the school. I went flying and everyone saw. The girl who hit me only said, "Oops, didn't see you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 089

You deserved it 120

tigerkyle92 0

Wednesday 15 June 2011 22:08

Don’t worry, that happens more than you think.

WCARlover 34

Wednesday 15 June 2011 22:09

"my bad". I hate when people say that, such a poor, pathetic excuse for "I'm sorry"

Comments

ZoZo17_fml 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 4:38

that happened to me. instant best friends.!! it's our handshake now.! everytime we see each other- *slap*

Iwashere12345 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 4:42

niiice. he acts like it was an accident, he's pretty smooth. (and OP, try not to get so drunk you don't remember anything, okay?) :)

Staige40 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:11

don't worry I expect this in the future, since I'm a twin

Hahahauk 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:14

Hahahaha u deserved it fatti

cynthiaF 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:39

No where on the FML does it say OP is fat? -_-

Skatejock21 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 6:57

cynthiaF ever think of context and how the person visualizes the FML. Obviously not.

parxxx 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:18

did u su3

aknight14 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:23

i would've beat his ass...thats just me tho...

cynthiaF 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 5:35

It must have been awkward for him...

shoecrazy 5

Thursday 16 June 2011 6:01

I would've beat the sh*t putt that person and say how you like them apples

Sippin_koolaid 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 6:41

That's when you kick him in the nads, and knee him in the jaw and say, "holy crap, my bad, confused you for some other douchenozzle".

nomz333 5

Thursday 16 June 2011 6:43

well that sucks

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The Top

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 257

You deserved it 79 304

Today, my girlfriend asked what my sexual fantasy was, and I said Catwoman. She got disgusted at me, because according to her, Catwoman is 15 years-old or something. Turns out she has only seen Gotham, featuring Catgirl as a teenager, and not the grown-up Halle Berry version I was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 226

The Top

Today, I was having a vegetarian meal at my date's house. She was very proud because she grew all the veggies herself; she even made the fertiliser herself. I was halfway through the meal before I asked what she meant by "made her own fertiliser." It was human shit; her own human shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 536

You deserved it 239

Today, I stayed home from work, feeling ill. Come lunch time, I made myself some ramen noodles, thinking that the broth would feel good on my throat. Too bad I sneezed while carrying the bowl, dumping the boiling hot broth all down my front. The skin on my boob peeled away like tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 540

You deserved it 589

Today, I noticed how fucked up I am generally. When as I was at school, everyone thought I would be a scientist at some prestigious institute somewhere, but now I'm actually homeless in Moscow, I live off shoplifting, sleeping at Burger King Restaurants, on buses, and in parks. I never do drugs or drink. This sucks! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 294

Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 855

You deserved it 1 624

Today, I got a ton of angry and disappointed messages. My boyfriend posted a picture of us out at a restaurant, and I was holding a brown bottle. I’m a recovering alcoholic, and I was drinking a fancy root beer. No one believes me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 109

Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 2 684