Intimacy: Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 401

You deserved it 65 844

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 228

You deserved it 24 833

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 364

You deserved it 6 275

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 681

You deserved it 66 274

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 5 058

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 092

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 9 764

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 632

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 231

You deserved it 1 922

canadian_ftw 8

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:29

whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.

cufaoil 11

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:22

well, you were acting like a dick, OP

Comments

ChelseaRaeS 7

Sunday 21 November 2010 17:18

You guys must have looked like retarted penguins if you were hugging and walking at the same time

mintcar 9

Sunday 21 November 2010 17:25

Retarded.*

DudeImBetter 0

Sunday 21 November 2010 19:10

After the spelling correction I agree but I think op thinks that your arm around a girl is hugging them and hugging someone is having sex and having sex is a myth.