Intimacy: Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 401

You deserved it 65 844

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 228

You deserved it 24 833

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 394

You deserved it 18 019

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 364

You deserved it 6 275

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 681

You deserved it 66 274

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 427

You deserved it 5 058

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 056

You deserved it 59 092

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 192

You deserved it 9 764

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 400

You deserved it 3 179

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 375

You deserved it 22 632

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 231

You deserved it 1 922

canadian_ftw 8

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:29

whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.

cufaoil 11

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:22

well, you were acting like a dick, OP

Comments

SighOfTheWorld 7

Monday 22 November 2010 2:14

YDI for disrespecting her in public. Not cool.

AmNot 0

Monday 22 November 2010 2:30

I doubt she hit him that hard, so I don't feel that bad for this guys...after all, she wouldnt want to damage the goods.

underpaid011 0

Monday 22 November 2010 3:10

your gf sounds awesome

penguinazul 13

Monday 22 November 2010 3:44

This really was an unnecessary reaction from the GF. I mean, all he did was touch her boob. It doesn't say that he started blatantly massaging her **** in the middle of the street or something. It's just a bit of playful fun, no harm done! I hate it when girls are bitches to their boyfriends for no reason. Just because you have a **** does NOT give you the right to be one.

JuggerzTheCat 0

Monday 22 November 2010 14:51

I like you. :p

kitkatkool14 8

Monday 22 November 2010 3:53

WTF? how old r u, 8???

bassdredd 2

Monday 22 November 2010 4:12

so, your boyfriend- wait, let me make this clearer- BOYFRIEND- touches your boob, and that gives you an excuse to slap his dick really hard? what the fu.ck is that chicks problem? lmfao have fun cleaning the bathroom when your bc starts pissing blood. what a b!tch

1personinthiswor 0

Monday 22 November 2010 5:44

It doesn't say "really hard" in the FML, does it? Not to mention, he grabbed her boob in a public place. Gf or not, show some respect!

JuggerzTheCat 0

Monday 22 November 2010 14:53

No where in the FML does it say he grabbed her boob. Does it? It says simply he touched it, meaning he would have simply nudged it.

flippityfloop 0

Monday 22 November 2010 6:07

Failure, omg. Why would you do that?

RedPillSucks 31

Monday 22 November 2010 6:18

Everyone is acting like OPs girlfriend hurt him. The FML doesn't say that. It says he got slapped in the crotch. There's nothing about him writhing in pain. For all we know it hurt about as much as him touching her breast. There's no information about how hard the slap was, so we can't make a judgement about it. About the only thing we know was that he was inappropriate with her in public.