Miscellaneous: Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break,... - FML

By Shocked - 18/12/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I was watching TV. During a very long commercial break, I found my brothers PSP charger next to me. Out of boredom I put my tongue on the end on the metal. Not only did it fry my tongue but found its way to my metal filling in my tooth. I now have a sore tongue and a throbbing toothache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 185

You deserved it 80 558

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/04/2014 11:36 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 388

You deserved it 3 974

By numbtongue - 13/03/2015 04:19 - New Zealand - Dunedin

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 884

You deserved it 4 466

By heheheh - 22/08/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I burned my tongue. With a flat iron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 983

You deserved it 57 729

By lectro - 23/11/2008 08:22 - France

Today, I swallowed the piercing that I had bought for my tongue yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 929

You deserved it 31 039

By Zapped - 17/05/2010 11:09 - United States

Today, I learned that, since getting my tongue ring, it has become imprudent to test 9-volt batteries with my tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 867

You deserved it 46 382

By ouch - 05/10/2015 19:20 - United States - Stockton

Today, I cracked my tooth. I was so tired I put my pretzel stick in my tea and took a bite out of my spoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 876

You deserved it 3 771

Hangry dude

By Anonymous - 07/08/2021 20:01

Today, I accidentally bit so hard on my fork that I cracked my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 248

For science

By Anonymous - 28/04/2009 11:16 - United Kingdom

Today, I was eating cereal and decided to warm it up to see what it tasted like. So, using a candle in the room I placed my spoon over the flame and waited to see if it heated up. Pleased with my silly experiment, I put the spoon back in my mouth. I now can't talk because of my swollen tongue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 250 835

By Anonymous - 13/08/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 332

You deserved it 56 153

By knighton16 - 17/07/2010 18:23 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth and shaving in the shower. My favorite song came on, and I got mixed up. My tongue and mouth are cut badly now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 142

You deserved it 58 663

Next

Top comments

SamIsSoaked 0

Friday 18 December 2009 9:34

idiot.

helennaa 0

Friday 18 December 2009 9:32

YDI-That's completely ridiculous. I'm sorry. Have you been to a dentist?

Comments

PinkDahlia 0

Tuesday 22 December 2009 11:44

Wow, seriously people, enough with the dumbassery and douchebaggery. #97 - lol

Bethelle 0

Monday 28 December 2009 8:10

lol, smart one

anh11 0

Monday 28 December 2009 18:12

hahahahaha who even thinks to do that , what did you think was gonna happen?

FD929 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 9:17

You're almost too dumb to insult.

leadrunner751 3

Wednesday 6 January 2010 6:35

retard

grog_fml 3

Wednesday 3 February 2010 8:30

and the Darwin award goes to...

Green_Eyes_Pwn 0

Friday 9 April 2010 19:59

Dumb. Ass.

Drummer389000 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 2:16

****** idiot! wow...

megamandude455 10

Wednesday 21 April 2010 17:03

your a dumbfuck op

afallingstar 22

Saturday 1 May 2010 6:33

you sir are an idiot

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The Top

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

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You deserved it 6 977

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

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You deserved it 4 073

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 175

Today, sleep-deprived and thinking I tolerated my low dose of diabetes medication Metformin well, I upped my dose like the bottle said to. My asshole has yet to forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 155

Today, I went to Walmart with my girlfriend. We bought the usual, food, Advil and condoms. While I waited in line, she went to grab everything. When she came back, I looked in the cart and saw no condoms. I asked her why she didn't get any. She replied "They ran out of smalls." Everyone laughed. FML

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You deserved it 8 425

Today, we live in a society where an Uber Eats order arrives a lot faster than the authorities. To make things worse, the Uber Eats order arrives screwed up as well. FML

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You deserved it 125

Today, I spent the entire day packing my car full of boxes for my move tomorrow. When I finally finished, I realized I didn't have the car key. It's inside one of the boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 714

You deserved it 32 204

Today, after working for the same company for over 20 years, someone from upper management told me they’d accidentally been overpaying me all these years, not a huge issue, but would I mind giving the money back in one lump sum by the end of the month? UM, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 996

You deserved it 114