Love: Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed... - FML

By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 710

You deserved it 3 387

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Same thing different taste

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 6 420

By Anonymous - 30/03/2011 18:26 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I woke up to what I thought was my 9 month old son breastfeeding. It was my boyfriend. According to him, he wanted to experience what his mother never gave him as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 578

You deserved it 8 314

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Spicy

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 788

You deserved it 3 881

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 402

You deserved it 6 565

Meow!

By patronuscat? - 05/10/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 625

You deserved it 1 064

By Milk Dispenser - 12/03/2019 05:00 - United States - Herriman

Today, breastfeeding my infant has become so automatic that when my dog nuzzled up against me while I was sleeping, I lifted up my shirt and unhooked my nursing bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 989

You deserved it 383

Bittie

By Alwayspotato - 11/07/2020 05:02

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 184

By Nasty - 25/04/2016 16:59 - United States - Tallahassee

Spicy

Today, while watching home videos with my family, I saw a clip of me as an infant attempting to breast feed from my father while he laughed uncontrollably. Now, my son keeps sneaking his baby brother's head under my shirt while I'm asleep. The last time he actually began to suckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 984

You deserved it 1 371

By possiblyoverweight - 08/11/2011 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 902

You deserved it 4 392

Exploding milk ****

By not that kinda squirting - 30/04/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, my husband and I were having sex for the first time since I had our son. As I was riding him in a heated passion, he grabbed my breasts. Milk literally shot out onto his face. Mood totally ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 871

You deserved it 592

Next

Top comments

SeniorHaG 4

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:41

I guess your baby is hungry.

prioo 6

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:49

He just wanted a little midnight snack without having to go all the way to the fridge.

Comments

jazzykinss 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 3:10

Wtf

PhishloverA 14

Wednesday 31 October 2012 3:36

Someone enjoyed their nursing days as a baby. He'll be real jealous if you do have a baby and those nursing days come

genquad 6

Thursday 1 November 2012 0:20

How exactly would she not already have a baby?

yusaku02 20

Wednesday 31 October 2012 4:26

The only problem I see is that he did it while you were asleep.

5150chaos 7

Wednesday 31 October 2012 5:08

Lamborghini Mercy Yo hubby is so thirsty

SupaHotFire 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 6:40

Got milk?

Cinderella_Man 10

Wednesday 31 October 2012 15:53

You are soooooo selfish!

MissPixy 7

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:03

hey i dunno why ur complaing gettn ur nipples suckd on feels sooo good i mean by a full grown man im only 21 not havn kids yet haha but yer ur hubby was gettn a prize outa it to! u feel good he gets breakky whats the big deal lol

That_Korean_Kid 4

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:49

Got milk?

B5B0N35 18

Wednesday 31 October 2012 16:57

Lol sucks for you

sorrowsangel89 1

Wednesday 31 October 2012 21:11

So weird.

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The Top

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 596

You deserved it 9 210

Today, I found out that my boyfriend lost a bunch of money by buying some scam cryto crap linked to that "Hawk tuah" girl. Easiest break-up ever. FML

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The Top

Today, my boss made me play golf with some executives of a company we're hoping to secure a business deal with, despite me having no golf training. My first swing ended up with me being rushed to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 298

You deserved it 4 869

Today, the family I was serving had ordered calamari and when I brought out the food, they started yelling at me because apparently their daughter was allergic to it. Just why would you order it then? FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 038

You deserved it 897

Today, I was driving in my car with my daughter, who was eating a nutri-grain bar. After a while she holds out her hand saying, "It's on my finger! I don't wanna eat it!" I pick up the little piece of nutri-grain filling and put it in my mouth, only to realize it was a large booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 557

You deserved it 27 578

Today, I discovered that if I work out, I can't get an erection, but if I don't work out, my penis functions fine. This wouldn't be such a problem if I wasn't a professional bodybuilder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 750

You deserved it 13 530

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 645

You deserved it 7 941

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years thought it would be funny to squat above my head completely naked while I was sleeping. When I woke up, his asshole and ball sack was in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 296