Intimacy: Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue...

By lizownsvirgy - 07/07/2011 19:49 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my step brother trying to put his tongue in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 296

You deserved it 5 465

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/01/2015 08:44

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 952

You deserved it 2 841

Rude awakening

By Alex - 22/02/2022 00:01

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 230

By sheridan.ashley - 15/05/2010 06:27 - Australia

Today, my sister decided to wake me up by pumping handwash into my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 038

You deserved it 3 518

By Anonymous - 09/12/2013 05:57 - United States - Spokane

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 530

You deserved it 3 370

By Picky - 06/07/2017 14:58

Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 070

You deserved it 372

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 21:13 - United States

Today, I met my brother for the first time in 20 years. Everything was going great, until he tried to make out with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 896

You deserved it 3 379

By Anonymous - 26/04/2014 11:36 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 3 974

That's that, then

By Anonymous - 12/09/2020 08:02

Today, I walked in on my brother having sex. With my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 603

You deserved it 211

By whymyroomthough - 06/08/2014 22:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 202

You deserved it 3 230

By Qwerty - 28/06/2011 16:10 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to pick my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 994

You deserved it 5 285

strawberrydreams 18

Thursday 7 July 2011 23:51

That's totally not disturbing at all.

Sassybq1 13

Thursday 7 July 2011 23:51

O_O hey be lucky it was someone you knew.......even though that's still pretty creepy lol. sorry chica. FYL.

Comments

care_bear_hugs 0

Friday 8 July 2011 5:46

what a dick

TheChad85 1

Friday 8 July 2011 5:48

shhh it's just a dream lol

GrahamAker 3

Friday 8 July 2011 5:52

wincest?

dakins 0

Friday 8 July 2011 5:59

sounds like sexual assault he has issues and u need to make the gardens in ur home aware of it, possibly external authority figures too....

cdabomm326 0

Friday 8 July 2011 6:03

what did you say?!?

purplegirl7 0

Friday 8 July 2011 6:06

I hope ur a girl

JCoach 0

Friday 8 July 2011 6:09

yum

lol0wnee 5

Friday 8 July 2011 6:10

trailer park?

hippieluva 0

Friday 8 July 2011 6:35

thats a dumb picture... please change it

JackyIdkk 7

Friday 8 July 2011 6:18

omg' rape O_O

drivemysoul19 8

Friday 8 July 2011 6:21

ha ha.

Keywords

Work Relatable Art Family Parents Kids Animals Cats Money Miscellaneous Health Skincare Neighbours Party Cops Crush Love Awkward Furniture Embarrassing Argument Cute Romantic Stuck Roommate Clothes Shoes I need your advice Mental health Cars

The Top

Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 814

You deserved it 1 399

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 716

You deserved it 32 189

The Top

Today, it’s only the first week of school and already I’ve confiscated five vapes, ended makeup tutorials along with full pallets and contour kits, broken up three fist fights, and had to remind the class of the importance of keeping one’s clothes on during school. I teach fourth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 55

Today, the first gift I opened was from my uncle. It was $80 in clothes that I'd bought for myself a week earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 227

You deserved it 707

Today, I found my dad on a dating website looking for younger girls. My mother and father are "happily" married, well according to her Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 902

You deserved it 1 525

Today, a girl was making fun of me for being a virgin and, "never seeing a nipple". I have three. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 421

You deserved it 3 015

Today, I was at the laundromat doing laundry with my mom when the guy running the place asked if we were "together". I thought this was just because of Covid and social distancing, but it turns out he thought my mom was my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 98

Today, I was in a store parking lot when I got a text from an unknown number saying, "I see you, I know what you did last summer, you wicked little shit." I freaked out and looked around in a panic. It turns out that it was my "hilarious" dad testing his new phone from across the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 122

Same thing different taste

Rude awakening

That's that, then

Top comments

Comments