Work: Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A...

By jessica - 17/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 069

You deserved it 9 529

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By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 441

By justwantingtohelp - 16/08/2013 05:02 - United States - Highland

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 622

You deserved it 3 428

By notapedobear - 13/01/2011 08:21

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 259

You deserved it 3 287

By Annoymous - 03/09/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 498

You deserved it 5 810

By Anon - 28/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 2 471

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 342

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 3 798

By RetailRage - 10/08/2015 12:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 1 867

By Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 3 790

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 758

Hannah_fml 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 4:44

Kids seem to like me, maybe because I am shorter than most adults. But I ALWAYS ask them if they need help first. Once I was skiing and there was this small 5 yr old kid and he was 'stuck' on a flat part without poles, so I asked him if he would like help, and he said yes, so I pulled him along (he grabbed onto my pole) the flat section. People often go up to dogs and just pet them, dogs attack, and the dog gets euthanized...

Mr_Serious 6

Wednesday 18 February 2009 4:03

people need to teach their kids what the hell that stuff actually means... i probably would've shit-stomped that little prick...

Comments

F_area_fml 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 16:44

Awh et tout le monde a du te regarder comme un pédophile ensuite. T'aurais simplement du lui demander gentiment s'il avait besoin de ton aide. Un p'tit garçon c'est très pudique! I agree, ur life is f***ed :s

Okeenow 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 18:50

Yeah don't touch other people's kids. Or pre-empt the action by asking permission first.

elguapo_fml 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 20:11

#23 - there's obviously a difference between just touching a kid (ie: a pat on the back, or a tap on the head), especially if he knows you're gonna touch him or of you know the kid, and randomly walking up to some kid and trying to zip his jacket for him. An unizpped zipper is right in front of the crotch, and touching anywhere around that area when the kid doesn't expect is is DEFINITELY treading the line between just being nice and being that creepy potential pedophile. You should learn how to interpret statements rather than taking everything literally

alwaysalady 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 21:31

If you have kids and you see a kid struggling with something, your mom-stinct kicks in and you want to save them, but as a general rule you shouldn't touch other people's children. Would you like it if some stranger came up and touch your kid? Cuz it pisses me right the hell off when people touch mine.

teamecko00 0

Thursday 19 February 2009 2:26

ahhaha kids are crazy

Itachi_Kisuke 0

Friday 20 February 2009 4:18

lmfao! Well... the little kid DID do the right thing IF he REALLY thought you were going to "bad touch" him though my guess is he was just being a shit head. That sucks BIG time.

Fmylifeeveryday 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 1:10

this is one of my favorites.

FriendlyShadows 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 3:14

Dude, that sucks MAJOR! The kid was probably molested at some point in their life....that's the only reason the kid I babysit does that...his last babysitter was a pedo....O_e

tincan 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 12:56

What #6 said. You should have asked first to let the kid know what you are up to.

devondv 5

Wednesday 1 April 2009 21:24

Us woman can't help but to help a kid when we see them struggling and if you don't have mom-stinct then you may as well be a douch. I would have asked first though. He probobly would have told you to Fxxk yourself lol. Did anyone see that post from a few days ago??? funny as hell.