Work: Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A...

By jessica - 17/02/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 069

You deserved it 9 529

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

It's not what you think

By shway - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 966

You deserved it 7 441

By justwantingtohelp - 16/08/2013 05:02 - United States - Highland

Today, a child was choking in the store I work at. He was alone in the aisle, so I started the Heimlich without his parents' permission. After dislodging what was caught, his mother turned the corner and went screaming to my manager for touching her kid. I got a write up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 622

You deserved it 3 428

By notapedobear - 13/01/2011 08:21

Today, I was in a shopping centre when a little girl was running up and down the aisles. She started to fall over so I put my hand out to catch her. Her mother then ran up to me and screamed about me 'touching her child' so loud that everyone could hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 259

You deserved it 3 287

By Annoymous - 03/09/2009 10:19 - Australia

Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 498

You deserved it 5 810

By Anon - 28/05/2012 05:01 - United States

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 337

You deserved it 2 471

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 342

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 286

You deserved it 3 798

By RetailRage - 10/08/2015 12:23 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job working retail, I had just finished cleaning and straightening a whole aisle. This kid watched me do the whole thing. When I was done, he stuck his arm out, and ran it down the whole shelf, knocking everything off it. His mother just grabbed his hand and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 1 867

By Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 269

You deserved it 3 790

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 705

You deserved it 758

Hannah_fml 0

Wednesday 18 February 2009 4:44

Kids seem to like me, maybe because I am shorter than most adults. But I ALWAYS ask them if they need help first. Once I was skiing and there was this small 5 yr old kid and he was 'stuck' on a flat part without poles, so I asked him if he would like help, and he said yes, so I pulled him along (he grabbed onto my pole) the flat section. People often go up to dogs and just pet them, dogs attack, and the dog gets euthanized...

Mr_Serious 6

Wednesday 18 February 2009 4:03

people need to teach their kids what the hell that stuff actually means... i probably would've shit-stomped that little prick...

Comments

thatguy5207 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 2:23

DON'T TOUCH LITTLE KIDS YOU DON'T KNOW LIKE THAT EVEN IF YOUR TRYING TO HELP!

biwinning88 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 17:55

agreed, of I was this child's parent I would flip out. I don't care how kind you are in this day and age its crossing a line. think about it you go right to his privates to startzipping, of course he's gonna flip out, as he should! he was not being a brat at all, he was doing the right thing

taylor17lover 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 16:58

i totally agree with #43! you dont know the kid! you cant just go up to little kids and TOUCH them. parents do teach kids never to talk to strangers...let alone let one touch them

BBkid 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 7:23

I hate that! That's what u get for trying to be nice no matter what, it is so riged

Autoshot 9

Sunday 19 September 2010 2:38

Consider it a lesson learned.

starberries 0

Sunday 7 November 2010 2:57

Don't touch strangers! Little kids especially! What's wrong with you? This isn't 1950, you can't just go around grabbing children!

nitemare0 17

Wednesday 16 March 2011 5:06

you deserve it, don't touch my kid.

forest1wolf 9

Saturday 20 August 2011 5:17

U r my idol haha genius idk Y I never did that!?!

sarahDarc 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 23:08

it kind of is, when the help is unasked for. or in this case, not approved by the child? they should've asked to avoid the situation. OP had good intentions... just wrong way of going about it. people assume when you do.