Miscellaneous: Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede,...

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By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 764

You deserved it 3 611

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/09/2013 11:55 - United States - Louisville

Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 613

You deserved it 2 895

By Anonymous - 19/03/2012 00:49 - United States - Dansville

Today, my boyfriend and I were having dinner with my family. He killed a bug and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 980

You deserved it 4 108

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 179

You deserved it 2 724

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 339

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 562

You deserved it 3 026

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 270

By feckingnasty - 26/01/2018 19:00

Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 655

You deserved it 466

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 41 689

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 778

You deserved it 3 585

By somuchforthat - 19/02/2010 07:38 - Australia

Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 711

You deserved it 2 520

rick1 8

Friday 27 September 2013 2:54

... Why would someone even willingly do that? Nasty.

sarah6786 14

Friday 27 September 2013 2:56

Protein. Several legged protein.

Comments

Empoleon123 6

Saturday 28 September 2013 8:15

Well... At least he doesn't drink his own piss...

BMurphy55 1

Saturday 28 September 2013 23:51

Omg WTF?

catwoman19_fml 5

Sunday 29 September 2013 6:50

Ewww gross!

EphMi 5

Monday 30 September 2013 6:42

and he didn't even offer to share? shame on him!

PrincessBambii 21

Monday 10 March 2014 15:25

... Is your father Satan, by any chance?

Hunterdagreat 7

Wednesday 28 May 2014 1:33

Dafuq wrong wit yo daddy???

pinkstardust 9

Wednesday 29 July 2015 22:00

Eww that's gross

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Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 94

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I agree, your life sucks 558

You deserved it 69

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I agree, your life sucks 4 698

You deserved it 486

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I agree, your life sucks 18 024

You deserved it 51 846

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I agree, your life sucks 531

You deserved it 78

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I agree, your life sucks 15 570

You deserved it 66 793

Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 165

You deserved it 93

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 310

You deserved it 3 585

Same thing different taste

Happy meal

Hair-raising

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