Miscellaneous: Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because...

By M - 23/05/2011 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I went back to the key cutter for the second time because apartment key I gave to my boyfriend didn't work. The man cut me another key and apologised profusely. When I got home and tried the key, it didn't work. I realised I'd asked him to copy the wrong key. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 068

You deserved it 43 404

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/08/2013 23:58 - United States

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 247

You deserved it 5 222

By losing the plot - 08/04/2015 19:36 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 593

You deserved it 17 516

By Ash - 14/06/2019 14:02

Today, the key broke inside my lock and I ended up needing bolt cutters. Cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 137

By Anonymous - 14/12/2012 23:12 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 878

You deserved it 2 650

By Anonymous - 21/02/2014 09:59 - Russian Federation - Lipetsk

Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 969

You deserved it 4 117

By megmo7 - 04/10/2010 08:24 - United States

Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 4 482

Sorry guys!

By hawkknight - 23/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Portland

Today, at work, I broke the drinks machine for the third time. The first two times I broke the key, this time I switched it off and couldn't turn it back on after my manager warned me not to mess with it AFTER I had switched it off. The best part? The key is still broken from last time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 317

You deserved it 5 717

The key to happiness

By Luke - 25/07/2010 22:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a friend move. Before we arrived, he put his key on my key ring to keep it safe. When we got there, he promptly shoved my front door key into the lock and snapped it clean off. Not only can we not get into his house, but now I can't get back into mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 892

You deserved it 4 093

Not working out too well, huh?

By Coldandcalculated - 13/10/2021 02:00

Today, I learned that my fiancée copied my house key early into our relationship. The reason being is that in case I were to catch her cheating, which I did, she could come in and trash my place when I called off the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 139

By Lockout - 31/08/2015 20:01 - Germany - Kiel

Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 484

You deserved it 21 341

Rynk95 11

Monday 23 May 2011 22:56

Poor man. You made him feel sorry for nothing.

EricaCookies 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:27

It was the "!!!" and "LOL" that killed it for me.

Comments

mintcar 9

Monday 23 May 2011 22:58

Someone is a little sc a t ter br aine d.

zowieandzander77 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:06

um what????

djmacncheeze 6

Tuesday 24 May 2011 3:24

scatter brained

mintcar 9

Tuesday 24 May 2011 3:46

Thanks 86 for explaining.

zowieandzander77 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 19:39

got it.. when I first read it I thought it was some new crazy IM speak!

Jesterful009 0

Monday 23 May 2011 22:59

hahaha very funny

ashseal 11

Monday 23 May 2011 23:00

haha that was kinda dumb

WiderWille 11

Monday 23 May 2011 23:40

Oh really? When I read the FML it looked kinda clever to me :/

chino627 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:02

nice going genius

jannie22 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:04

haha dumby!

doom2 8

Monday 23 May 2011 23:05

it happens :P just try to think things through next time (:

WiderWille 11

Monday 23 May 2011 23:47

What happened to doom1?

LaughinStock 16

Tuesday 24 May 2011 7:28

^lol

Zdog101 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:06

nice goin smartass

logo79 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:07

wait u actually know how to use a key

FriscoKidz 10

Monday 23 May 2011 23:07

maybe you should lay off the pot..

TheresNoEffingwa 7

Monday 23 May 2011 23:22

that's never the answer brah

zowieandzander77 1

Tuesday 24 May 2011 1:08

neither is using the " word" brah...

Djzom13 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:09

Neither is putting an unnecessary space in the word 'within'. There will be no winner in this comment.

THEmuffinpan 0

Tuesday 24 May 2011 6:42

Neither is photoshopping your boobs.

Shazzora 0

Monday 23 May 2011 23:08

idiot...

Keywords

Awkward Miscellaneous Embarrassing Sleep Work Dating Love Annoying Am I overreacting? Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Neighbours Cops Drugs Relatable Medication Teenagers Dogs Animals Video games Gamers Ironic Zoom

The Top

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in The Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 650

You deserved it 8 222

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 4 250

The Top

Today, I got a ride in a friend's car. As I sat down, her younger brother started laughing hysterically from the backseat. In between giggles, he admitted he peed there a few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 2 821

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 311

You deserved it 6 454

Today, my crush and I were talking about hypothetical situations. I told her, "I love you hypothetically." She said, "I love me too." I even got rejected hypothetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 694

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 425

You deserved it 4 891

Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 270

You deserved it 12 749

Today, I visited my girlfriend at her place, one thing lead to another, and we had sex for the first time. Her normally very sweet cat now hisses and savages me if I so much as look at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 405

You deserved it 7 943

Same thing different taste

Sorry guys!

The key to happiness

Not working out too well, huh?

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