Intimacy: Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down...

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 842

You deserved it 13 054

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 419

You deserved it 6 035

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 331

You deserved it 3 190

By Anonymous - 02/05/2015 02:22 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 020

You deserved it 4 136

It's sus

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 09:01 - New Zealand

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 145

You deserved it 10 356

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 819

You deserved it 10 200

By checkup - 15/07/2012 00:50 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 315

You deserved it 5 082

Boredom

By alhummel21 - 12/02/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181 809

You deserved it 52 065

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 488

You deserved it 11 466

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 213

You deserved it 3 769

Comeback

By sadguy - 18/02/2009 22:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 121

You deserved it 23 264

Steffi3 40

Friday 31 January 2014 19:04

Because obviously going down on someone doesn't count as cheating. Wait...

selfsabotage 4

Friday 31 January 2014 19:04

Wonder how her boyfriend would feel about his girlfriends "loyalty". Sucks to be you dude but if this is the girl of your dreams I would think you know enough about her to know she had a boyfriend.

Comments

AFCCT 7

Friday 31 January 2014 19:07

Plot twist: She's blonde and you are her boyfriend!

Muny_fml 17

Friday 31 January 2014 19:07

Dude I feel real sorry 4 ya

The_Big_Boss 20

Friday 31 January 2014 19:07

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

laden_swallow09 34

Friday 31 January 2014 20:20

I'd facepalm, too. 15's face. With a backhand.

Ladisa 28

Saturday 1 February 2014 11:08

Why? 15 was obviously being sarcastic. Or am I seeing more than there actually is?

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Friday 31 January 2014 19:07

Were you aware of this girl's relationship status before you went down on her? If you were than quite frankly you are an ass for getting with a taken girl and I feel you deserve the blue balls. She's of course a huge c*nt for screwing around behind her boyfriend's back and I hope her boyfriend finds out soon. If you weren't aware of her relationship status then f your life and I'm sorry that you had to suffer because of a c*nt like that. I hope you find a not taken girl who tickles your fancy as well as your pickle.

marrkkoopolo 1

Sunday 9 February 2014 23:05

I actually read all that :)

BellaBelle_fml 23

Monday 10 February 2014 19:52

What an accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself.

bonnie04 5

Wednesday 23 July 2014 19:48

thats not nice to call him an ass, he didnt know

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Tuesday 4 August 2015 19:24

Hence the word IF. IF he knew than he has been called an ass. IF he didn't than he hasn't been called an ass.

Quiet_one 22

Friday 31 January 2014 19:08

But... she already did... This kind of "logic" hurts my brain.

perdix 29

Friday 31 January 2014 19:09

Translation: Your pussy-eating skills are awesome! Don't even think of coming up and wanting more. Lick away, monkey boy! I'm glad I could help.

zaise_chsa 19

Friday 31 January 2014 19:09

You should have given her a good tongue lashing. Maybe if you tell her boyfriend he'll lick her into shape.

jude_iscariot 7

Friday 31 January 2014 19:09

It's all good. Just ask her to suck your ****, then. Clearly oral doesn't count.

perdix 29

Friday 31 January 2014 19:14

I wouldn't be surprised if the boyfriend was ok with her outsourcing the work in that department to you. He'll probably happily buy you a beer and some dental floss. ;)