Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible...

By pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u - 16/08/2015 16:18 - United States - Monmouth Junction

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 1 886

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 8 137

Smell test

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 10:59

Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 91

By motherfuck666 - 18/05/2014 21:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 898

You deserved it 5 486

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 484

You deserved it 9 910

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 170

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 4 526

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 75

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 523

You deserved it 37 936

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 148

You deserved it 7 790

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 941

You deserved it 4 700

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

Comments

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

DamnBailie 23

Monday 17 August 2015 7:22

or a middle school boys bedroom.

Fml_foreva 9

Monday 17 August 2015 13:39

mostly elementary

Hoopachi 19

Tuesday 18 August 2015 3:35

Since when do elementary school kids use axe?

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:37

Axe is not an alternative to doing laundry!

FiFiLovee 26

Monday 24 August 2015 4:58

Is no one going to comment on OP's username? Lmfaoooo

CliffyB03 28

Monday 17 August 2015 7:04

Any amount of Axe is too much Axe

Birdclawz 17

Monday 17 August 2015 7:07

A little bit goes a long way fellas

beeferjay 34

Wednesday 19 August 2015 0:07

especially when they're in heat...

WellThatWasRude 27

Monday 17 August 2015 7:08

Unfortunately, some guys treat Axe as if it's cologne, when in reality it's FAR from that. Sorry you had to go through that, OP!

lovelockdown23 23

Monday 17 August 2015 8:53

then what is it?

IronMan_Mk43 20

Monday 17 August 2015 11:51

Deodorant (not a very good one though) #28

Skylarconner 14

Monday 17 August 2015 17:21

no, it's a shit in a can

SPN_lover666 27

Monday 17 August 2015 19:05

#28, it is a can of Satan's ball sweat.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 17 August 2015 22:55

Some people treat it like its some kind of miracle shower in a can.

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:40

I blame those ads that make it seem like women will instantly jump on you if you spray that crap on your self.

MandyO 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

If that's the worst part about this blind date, it sounds like a win!

rileyrae0000 23

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

I have a similar experience everyday in one of my classes. I'm not sure exactly who it's coming from but when I do, I'm confiscating his Axe!!!!

corky1992 33

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

I love the smell of Axe, but it definitely can be strong and some guys over do it.

MasterTron 24

Monday 17 August 2015 12:10

It's a shower in a can for some guys.

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

balboa_2 24

Monday 17 August 2015 7:15

In our lockeroom that's what most of the guys use

Matheo_fml 21

Monday 17 August 2015 7:20

Axe: boosting self confidence with misleading advertisement since 1990...

Keywords

Christmas Family Awkward Social Media Relatable Technology Money Holidays Narcissistic parents Drunk Love Religion Gifts Shopping AITA Miscellaneous Delivery Furniture Sex Cheating Facebook Animals Dogs Work Cold weather Bosses Embarrassing Cute Am I overreacting? Cats

The Top

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 827

You deserved it 3 129

Today, I made the mistake of uttering the phrase "I’m not like other girls" at work when discussing how I prefer staying in and reading over going out to a bar. Now none of the other girls in the office will talk to me and are calling me a "pick-me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 663

The Top

Today, I was trying to clean the belt of my register at work at a grocery store. I noticed two strips of rubber stuck in the corner of the belt, and after pulling on them periodically all morning one finally came loose. It was a foot. I had been pulling at a dead rat trapped in the belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 584

You deserved it 3 325

Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 201

Today, I tried to stifle a sneeze while on the train and instead shat myself a little bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 186

Today, I broke my glasses. My eyesight is horrible, I can’t see things that aren’t super close to my face. I'm supposed to drive to another state tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 217

Today, my neighbors threatened to sue me because a six-foot branch fell off one of my trees and into their yard, hitting nothing on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 232

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 678

You deserved it 7 589

Same thing different taste

Hey… you

Smell test

Reverse Uno card

NEXT!

Cool moves

Let's not do this again

Next!

Top comments

Comments