Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible...

By pvcnutcrackingdomqueen4u - 16/08/2015 16:18 - United States - Monmouth Junction

Today, I went on a blind date. People always joke about how horrible Axe is, but this guy sprayed it on so thick that I genuinely had to fight to not retch the entire time. It was so bad that at one point I thought I was going to pass out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 798

You deserved it 1 886

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Same thing different taste

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 186

You deserved it 8 137

Smell test

By Anonymous - 27/09/2021 10:59

Today, I went on a date with a guy from Bumble. It was going well, with dinner and a walk on the waterfront, until he started complaining about skincare products, "People with eczema use that nasty cream, it's so sticky and smells horrible." I have severe eczema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 91

By motherfuck666 - 18/05/2014 21:21 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 898

You deserved it 5 486

Reverse Uno card

By BlackCheetah101 - 04/11/2009 06:51 - Australia

Today, I had a blind date that my friend set me up for. My date was the ugliest, most disgusting person you will ever meet, but I thought that I would give him a chance. He saw me, eyed me up and down, then said to my friend, "You're kidding, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 481

You deserved it 9 909

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 169

Cool moves

By Juanna - 13/01/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 686

You deserved it 4 526

Let's not do this again

By Krissy - 12/10/2024 14:00 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I went on a blind date, even though the whole concept freaks me out a bit. My date showed up with his sister, who sat at our table and critiqued everything we did, from how I chewed my food, to the way we nervously laughed. He hardly said a word the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 75

By r4inb0wbrit3 - 13/07/2012 07:37 - United States - Townsend

Today, I was on a date with a great guy, and we were really hitting it off. While we were walking in the park, a woman who smelled like the devil's toenails and looked as if she hadn't bathed in a year passed us. I whispered to my date, "Look at that disgusting woman." It was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 521

You deserved it 37 935

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 144

You deserved it 7 788

By Username - 16/04/2011 08:39 - United States

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 933

You deserved it 4 699

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

Comments

reklawelyk 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:03

Welcome to a guys locker room

DamnBailie 23

Monday 17 August 2015 7:22

or a middle school boys bedroom.

Fml_foreva 9

Monday 17 August 2015 13:39

mostly elementary

Hoopachi 19

Tuesday 18 August 2015 3:35

Since when do elementary school kids use axe?

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:37

Axe is not an alternative to doing laundry!

FiFiLovee 26

Monday 24 August 2015 4:58

Is no one going to comment on OP's username? Lmfaoooo

CliffyB03 28

Monday 17 August 2015 7:04

Any amount of Axe is too much Axe

Birdclawz 17

Monday 17 August 2015 7:07

A little bit goes a long way fellas

beeferjay 34

Wednesday 19 August 2015 0:07

especially when they're in heat...

WellThatWasRude 27

Monday 17 August 2015 7:08

Unfortunately, some guys treat Axe as if it's cologne, when in reality it's FAR from that. Sorry you had to go through that, OP!

lovelockdown23 23

Monday 17 August 2015 8:53

then what is it?

IronMan_Mk43 20

Monday 17 August 2015 11:51

Deodorant (not a very good one though) #28

Skylarconner 14

Monday 17 August 2015 17:21

no, it's a shit in a can

SPN_lover666 27

Monday 17 August 2015 19:05

#28, it is a can of Satan's ball sweat.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 17 August 2015 22:55

Some people treat it like its some kind of miracle shower in a can.

LowExpectations 30

Wednesday 19 August 2015 1:40

I blame those ads that make it seem like women will instantly jump on you if you spray that crap on your self.

MandyO 15

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

If that's the worst part about this blind date, it sounds like a win!

rileyrae0000 23

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

I have a similar experience everyday in one of my classes. I'm not sure exactly who it's coming from but when I do, I'm confiscating his Axe!!!!

corky1992 33

Monday 17 August 2015 7:10

I love the smell of Axe, but it definitely can be strong and some guys over do it.

MasterTron 24

Monday 17 August 2015 12:10

It's a shower in a can for some guys.

karcummings 19

Monday 17 August 2015 7:11

you could say he was an.. axe murderer. haha..

balboa_2 24

Monday 17 August 2015 7:15

In our lockeroom that's what most of the guys use

Matheo_fml 21

Monday 17 August 2015 7:20

Axe: boosting self confidence with misleading advertisement since 1990...

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Relatable Work DIY Kids Parenting Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, yet again I had to lie to a date about what I do for a living, because every time I tell someone the truth, that I work in private equity, they have some choice words about "people like me ruining things" and "ruining the housing prices." I feel like an evil James Bond or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 550

Today, my mom picked my ex-boyfriend up early from school to take him to see a special screening of a documentary that's showing in town. She left me after school for an hour and a half because they ended up going out for coffee afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 157

You deserved it 2 693

The Top

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years admitted why his pet name for me is "his beautiful swan". Apparently, the first few years we were dating, he and his friends secretly referred to me as "the ugly duckling" because my sister was so much hotter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 507

You deserved it 3 598

Today, as I was stood on an escalator, my shoelace got caught in the step. Panicking, I tried to pull it out, but my shoe came off. I had to awkwardly hop back down the escalator to retrieve it while everyone around me in the mall watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327

You deserved it 144

Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 315

You deserved it 287

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 532

Today, a lady cussed me out for not bringing her salad and pizza to her table. She then wanted her money back. I work at a buffet; a self-serve buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 971

You deserved it 2 809

Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 480

Same thing different taste

Hey… you

Smell test

Reverse Uno card

NEXT!

Cool moves

Let's not do this again

Next!

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