Miscellaneous: Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online....

By ninja_blasphemer - 25/07/2011 19:24 - Ireland

Today, I went on a date with a seemingly nice guy I met online. He was drunk when I got there. Within the first 10 minutes, he had told me I was "like Hitler but with boobs", and I was "offensive to the ninja community." Then he said I just wasn't all he had hoped for and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 070

You deserved it 7 787

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Same thing different taste

By thatgirl - 10/10/2011 07:16 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 108

You deserved it 3 557

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 05/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I had a date with someone I met online. We agreed to meet at a nice restaurant. I got there early, ordered a drink, and waited. And waited. An hour later, I texted to ask where he was. His response? "I’ve been watching you from my car for the last hour. Decided you’re not my type." FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 103

Is this catfishing?

By Anonymous - 01/04/2023 06:00

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 202

Profile pictures

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Macon

Today, I went on an online date. I'd spent a while getting ready and making sure I looked good. When I arrived at the café, I saw my date and approached with a smile. He stood up, looked me over, and said, "Oh, I thought you were your profile picture’s friend." Then left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 253

Proud boy

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 08:02

Today, I went on a Tinder date. He seemed pretty normal. Very handsome, and a complete gentleman. Turned out he's a white supremacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 196

First Dates

By Anonymous - 06/06/2014 22:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for ages. Midway through the meal, he sighed and said, "I'll be honest, this is a horrible date. You got zero personality and I'm too lazy to do a window escape, so..." He then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 453

You deserved it 10 184

By notnerb - 19/05/2009 10:13 - New Zealand

Today, I met up with a guy from a local dating site for coffee. He walked up, looked me over and said "Ummm, no", then walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 896

You deserved it 8 594

By OhDear - 24/02/2011 20:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 853

You deserved it 5 105

Next!

By ElodieUNU - 12/07/2013 19:33 - France

Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 148

You deserved it 7 791

By Anonymous - 12/03/2015 03:19 - United States - Watertown

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. It was going OK, until he started asking me if he should stick with the site until he finds the right person. I guess I know how he feels about me, at least. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 659

You deserved it 2 913

Airick_TheGreat 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:34

so I'm guessing the date went ok?

GigaPudding_fml 24

Tuesday 26 July 2011 0:35

Well, were you offensive against the ninja community?

Comments

ElementTruth 2

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:01

I'm guessing the first was meant to be a compliment in his eyes?

HomeAl0ne 20

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:05

You are better off without him. Sounds like he used all his good material on the first date anyway.

miss_persephone 6

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:10

YDI for offending the Ninja community!!

mea_iloveskiing 26

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:10

too bad you're a girl because your description is extremely sexy.

ILoveTabz 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:10

shame on you for ring offensive to the ninja community!

ILoveTabz 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:14

*being

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:12

Marriage material.

nplewis 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:14

all I can say is what a DOUCHEBAG!!!

bridgid96 13

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:15

hail hitler

bridgid96 13

Tuesday 26 July 2011 2:39

hail hitler

Rwcrazy 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:25

Shave the mustache

FarSide 22

Tuesday 26 July 2011 5:51

And while you are at it, might as well vacuum the pits and carpet.

kcmjlopez 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 1:26

at least you found at on the first date what a creep he is.

Keywords

Clothes Miscellaneous Relatable Shoes Insurance Transportation Cars Health Work Love Cheating Embarrassing Clumsy Food Awkward Animals Dating First Dates Bikes Dogs Cute Ironic Pranks Shopping Mistakes Texting Family Fight Birthday Drunk

The Top

Today, I was on an Easyjet flight, next to two attractive girls, listening to a track which starts with a woman pleasuring herself. I don't like this track so I go to skip it but accidentally unplug my headphones, activating my phone speakers and revealing the said woman at the peak of her orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 055

You deserved it 56 739

Today, my husband is going to a business trip where his female coworker, the one he says to "not worry about", yet acts totally lovestruck about, will be too. I saw him pack a box of condoms. He said, “Oops! They’re actually for us, I didn’t mean to pack them.” Honey, we haven’t used condoms in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 836

You deserved it 183

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 131

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I agree, your life sucks 20 271

You deserved it 2 606

Today, I’m sitting in the ER pissed off at my teenage sons. They’re both violently ill from doing a shot contest to see who could drink the most. Alcohol poisoning? Nope. Caffeine overdose. They lost track of how many shots of espresso they were doing before they started puking and shaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 220

You deserved it 162

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to get out of the shower. Bored, I sent my friend a picture of myself pretending to make out with his bear rug. After the photo shoot, I looked in the doorway to find his dad staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 359

You deserved it 34 949

Today, my housemate yelled at me because I'm "ignoring" her and it makes her feel "rejected and hated." Last week, she yelled at me for saying hello, and told me not to speak to her unless she spoke to me first, because she was "stressed out" and "can't be disturbed." I can't take her mood swings any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 119

Today, I tested positive for Covid, which I got from my boyfriend. Who got it from the chick he cheated on me with. At least it's not an STI. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 157

Same thing different taste

Where are you?

Is this catfishing?

Profile pictures

Proud boy

First Dates

Next!

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